Gender isn’t a given for birthing people and it’s time pregnancy wear keep up

Pregnancy wear opens a can of worms for queer and gender non-conforming pregnant people. In our post gender generation, it is time the pregnancy wear industry reflects that.

Credit: Arren Mills via Unsplash.

For many pregnant people, having a growing belly is a joyous process, something they have looked forward to for years. Their Pinterest board: filled with dresses in patterns and styles highlighting their ever growing bump. The parent-to-be countdown the days to go ‘maternity’ shopping, proudly wearing a ‘baby on board’ badge. This shopping is different to any other, it is finally time to make their way to the “Maternity Wear” section.

Although many pregnant people can identify with terms such as ‘mum’ and ‘motherhood’, childbearing does not solely relate to gender conforming people. Those who identify with alternative gender identities and expression, having a growing bump may mean a dreaded day when they have to make their way to the clothing store, and, yet again, navigate clothing racks not reflecting them. Understandably, having a growing bump yet not conforming to what a ‘pregnant woman’ is expected to look like feels even more alienating. It is time that everyone has the ability to expand their wardrobe inline with their expanding waistline.

Gwendolyn Beetham, a solo parent and scholarly queer feminist is one of many pregnant people who had to re-navigate her queer identity following pregnancy. Although identifying as feminine-presenting, she consciously changed her look during her 2017 pregnancy: “during pregnancy I really veered away from that and tried to intentionally dress more androgynous, maybe to counter my feelings of erasure in what is a very straight experience,” she says.

She knows her experience is far from uncommon. Friends, both queer and straight, warned her about the limitations of pregnancy wear. “What I didn’t expect was the way that pregnancy clothing would affect my queer identity,” she writes. Amongst the array of racks, pregnant people are met with long knitted skirts, floral patterns as well as lacy maternity underwear.

In her article ‘Where Is the Maternity-Wear for Queer Folks?’ Beetham explores her own experience as a queer pregnant person and the struggles caused by the heteronormativity of parenthood. “I think that more than clothing choices, the pregnant body itself is assumed to be straight and pregnancies the result of heterosexuality,” she says.

“The issue of pregnancy clothing for queer folks can therefore be the tip of the iceberg — or the straw that breaks the camel’s back. For those on the masculine or gender nonconforming end of the spectrum, finding clothing that is true to their non-feminine presentation can be nearly impossible,” Beetham writes.

Furthermore she explains how pregnancy wear can be a minefield to navigate:The “unwelcome changes to the body — identified by everyone from co-workers to strangers on the street — can lead to complicated feelings about identity and even relationship difficulties for those who are partnered.” This is not only the case for those on the masculine spectrum. “For those on the feminine end of the spectrum, the further erasure of our queer identity through the bows and ruffles of pregnancy clothing can be the tipping point, with our assumed heterosexuality making us feel even more marginalised in the queer community,” she writes in the article.

Fortunately, there are more options today than she herself had six years ago. “In the last few years we’ve witnessed a trend in traditional “maternity” lines offering more options, even if they aren’t necessarily billed as “for” gender expansive people,” she says. However, there is always room for improvement. Storq is one example.

The American clothing brand that started in 2014 is one of few brands challenging the way we think about pregnancy wear. Grace Kapin, one of the co-founders points to the root of the problem: “Issues of gender and identity undermine the notion of the traditional family paradigm.”

She explains that they have had complaints that language such as “pregnant person” versus “pregnant woman” are attempts at erasing the biological and social roles women traditionally fill. Like Kapin points out: “I think many companies are still figuring out how to approach a more expansive, less gendered offering, but it hits so close to home with pregnancy wear that it’s going to take a while to see this shift happen.”

Interestingly, Kapin emphasises a wider issue within the pregnancy wear industry that further creates complex problems: “The maternity market is stuck in a cycle where the customer feels that clothes for this body are temporary, and therefore not worth spending money on,” she says.

The financial side

Still, it is essential to note that many queer pregnancies are the result of IVF (in vitro fertilisation) which is a very expensive procedure. This aspect to pregnancy wear is key in the eyes of Beetham: “In addition to the perils of fast fashion and limited time for these kinds of clothes, I want to stress that maybe queer people just don’t have the funds to buy a whole new wardrobe during pregnancy because it is incredibly expensive to get pregnant as a non heterosexual person.”

So are there any non-conforming pregnancy wear out there for a comfortable pricepoint? H&M’s winter maternity collection has a variety of options suited to various genders and expressions due to their dark colours and long sleeves. But their summer collection is focused on florals and low cuts, suggesting inclusivity only lasts for one season. Should every queer person be 6 months pregnant during the winter? Hopefully you find that as ridiculous as me.

Similarly, the notion that pregnancy is only for a short period of time, is feeding into the notion that the pregnant person should not have the option to be comfortable and feel like themselves. The team over at Storq says: “We think that the reluctance to spend money on yourself during this time and the aversion to dressing your “temporary” body comes from an underlying message about what constitutes beauty in our culture, and the archetype of the mother who sacrifices themself for their children.”

Attempts have been made to change the industry, Butchbaby & Co (which is no longer in business) had the motto ‘Don’t change, just because your body does’ and was the first ever alternative wear for pregnant masculine, transgender and queer individuals. Despite not being active today, they proposed the new term ‘Alternity’.

It is unfortunate to see how unchanged the pregnancy wear industry remains despite the queer debates of the 21st century. Surely finding clothes that feels comfortable (both physically and mentally) should be the least of people’s worries while they grow another human? In the words of Kapin: “what is considered beautiful and what mothers should act like comes from, we think, a fundamentally misogynist place.” Despite pregnancies being private and kept mostly under wraps for decades, there is a long way to go to create an inclusive industry. She continues: “It’s only recently have we begun to see pregnant bodies celebrated and honoured through fashion, and the role of the mother as more expansive.” Perhaps we can find support amongst those words because within the racks of clothing, expecting parents should find comfort, rather than another hurdle.