Compete with Yourself Rather Than Others

“The crucial difference between adopting good habits and losing your identity to someone else’s blueprint”

Photo by Jorge Torres on Unsplash

Back then at noon, one of my relative came to our home to congratulate my brother as he had cracked must difficult scholarship exam to be a doctor. In our family, he is the first to crack that gate.

Ongoing conversation, Our relative admitted that his son who was at 6th grade doesn’t want to be a doctor. He will choose a very simple profession.

“Everything is equally valueable, if we do it with our full dedication” , My father added.

Years passed, i met with that grown up boy at his sisters place. Initiating conversation, I asked “ so what you are up to”? He replied, “ I didn’t know yet”……. but i…..

His sister interrupted the conversations, and replied he will be an engineer as you.

At that moment, i felt he have different plannings in his heads and his eyes has different vision for the world. I wish he will become who he wants to not a someone else’s blueprint.

This is not the new story. There are many stories like that. Besides this, i had seen so many who decide to compete with their friends, colleagues and neighbours not because they are jealous but they feel what other values is with them. Seeing good qualities isn’t the fault however the wrong obsession hits different result.

They didn’t choose to compete actually, they tries to become them but as a result they fail to recognize themselves and forgot improving themselves. The journey become a competition as they completely mimic others ignoring own good qualities. They almost forgot what spice they can add rather than completely replacing themselves. Taking something productive from others is far better than becoming them.

Many of us don’t see a thin line between imitating good qualities and becoming carbon copy. Picking up something good that improve us actually push toward what we want to be rather than completly coping and competiting like we are better than them now.

I feel a healthy competition is always with yourself. Your yesterday version need to be improved today and your today version must set a healthy goal for tomorrow. No one teaches us a healthy boundary to be with ourselves. Unknowningly, we grew up to become someone else, something others which only creates internal void.

Its not just the story of that boy’s parents. Its the story of all us who lack self acceptance. They never tries to sit with themselves, see and reflect towards themselves. Learning to be with yourself, listening your voids and knowing what you lack and what you have is always a preferrable solution. Because at the end of the day we are all alone with ourselves, the only thing that doesn’t leave is our breathe.