A bird in a gilded cage

From a distance, it appears to be a perfect life, complete with all of the luxuries that human beings need to be content. However, the human living in that so-called perfect life is constrained by the limitations. Power dynamics and control have imprisoned the person in a beautiful golden cage.

Our logical life teaches us to chase a perfect life full of all the luxuries, comfort, status, wealth, and security. Nothing wrong with such pursuits of following one’s own dreams. The main concern comes when luxury is achieved at the cost of one’s own freedom.

A golden cage doesn’t literally mean to be golden; it can be in the form of a high-paying job, a relationship that brings a sense of togetherness, often costing self-worth, or an innermost urge for social approval.

The irony is that the more appealing the external beauty of a cage is, the more difficult it is to understand the real beauty of such a pretentious prison.

Now what are the perks of a golden cage?

Critics turn into fans, and friends envy you. From the outside, a simple show-off makes the target (the real “you”) happy. However, there is a deep conflict between the target’s inner and external lives. Your inner voice speaks to you:

Is this the life you wanted?

Is this who you want to live your whole life with?

Is this your identity?

So, what’s the confusion?

Suspicion begins to start within yourself, and you start comparing your life with others. Others have at least freedom to enjoy their life on their own terms. It doesn’t even matter anymore whether their sense of freedom lies in small things of life. Little trips with less luxury, but at least they have the luxury of freedom. A person living simply but authentically may be far freer than someone surrounded by luxury yet unable to make independent decisions.

“You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both.” Brené Brown

Your comfort zone makes you safe. We hold on to familiar situations because uncertainty feels frightening. But growth rarely happens inside a safe space, no matter how beautiful it appears to be.

The core concept of a gilded cage is a lesson that not everything valuable is liberating and not everything liberating appears valuable to the world.

In my personal opinion, having the courage to walk away from comfort is the first step towards discovering oneself. I have seen people struggling too hard to make it in life. Along the way, they shaped themselves by being subservient to highly influential or powerful people.

Now the question is why influential people do so?

Such great people exercise this illusory sense of power to get full control of weaker people’s lives and abolish their human rights and free will.

Every human being is born with a free will. Not even any divine energy interferes in humans' lives without their permission or invitation. In spiritual practices too, whether it is a ritual or any chant, it is advised to invoke a particular deity's energy and then start with further practice.

So delusional people who consider themselves as powerful as divine seem to get control of "lowlifes." Yes, it is sort of a delusion for them to think of people as lowlifes.

No one is above them, at least in their own version of their own little empire, of which they are the emperor or empress.

Here also come the power dynamics; they often feel offended when things won’t work according to them. Their implied servants wouldn’t follow their orders. See, nobody is literally asked to follow orders, rules, or any sort of instructions. But there is an unspoken agreement; if someone is monetarily doing anything for anyone, be it buying things or doing any kind of favor, consequently there is an unsaid rule that you have to follow their orders or get ready for a little bit of sarcasm making you feel little or maybe an insult or humiliation in public. It will likely diminish your respect as an individual, and nobody will come out in the open to back you up.

Some conclusions regarding the above. One is financially deprived people get an ambitious urge to achieve success or power. This whole perspective is being circulated all over the internet these days; to be financially free and to not be controlled by anyone in their life. Especially this message is for women to have control over their finances and be financially independent in a patriarchal world we live in. For ordinary sustenance, they won’t rely on anyone, else their life would be unmanageable. This actually is real women's empowerment.

This presents a compelling paradox in becoming financially independent and after the accumulation of enough wealth. Being dependent on the employer for certain hours in a non-toxic work environment. This is the second conclusion. But in a toxic work environment, the employer gets hold of 24 hours or the whole week. Again, it depends; if you want more out of life, let's say a promotion, then you have to be wholly dependent on your employer and be constrained to their instructions. Again, your life would be in control. This control is as per your wish because you wanted a promotion in the hope that someday you would get that authority to manage a team and control them. It’s a vicious loop. Again, it’s the perspective and depends on the person.

Some prefer a peaceful life with less ambition and enough money for survival; some chase power, ambitions, and money to be on top of the world. Lazy lads in a parallel world never want to work at any of it; rather, they prefer to be dependent on some powerful person or, in ordinary parlance, a godfather, who takes care of their sustenance. The latter concept serves as the central element of our entire conversation. This last person’s life is chaotic; some get out of the hell after a certain period of life by manipulating their godfather (they dedicate their crucial time of their lives to achieve something), while some remain in their control for the rest of their lives, as they are unaware of the art of manipulation.

This suffocating security or stifling comfort of a golden cage is infuriating, maddening, and soul-destroying for a person like me, who would rather choose liberty over liability.

“No man is free who is not master of himself.” -Epictetus