Welcome to my Complex PTSD Journey

Ever felt flashbacks, triggers, the past trying to hijack the present? Same. Celebrating life with Complex PTSD.

Only within the last few years have I found any semblance of purpose, inner peace, and self-acceptance. We can go with “thriving.” But the reality is, my first 22 years were spent in survival mode.

A broken home and family. Not the most positive high school experience. College only made things worse. My body “kept the score,” and I dragged those scars into adulthood.

I’ve been able to transcend a lot of this by living my mission — serving as a massage therapist, embracing my practice as a yogi, and challenging myself on the mats as a jiujitsu practitioner. They aren’t just jobs or hobbies. They’re lifelines. They’re how I rebuilt an identity beyond the bullshit.

Even so, my mind still tries to drag me back into those first 22 years. The most random thing can trigger a flashback — something from 7th grade Social Studies, at a family gathering, or during a fraternity party.

Suddenly it’s like I’m right back there, reliving it all over again. And almost 100 times a day, I have to remind myself: those days are over. I’m not that kid anymore. My best days are now and ahead — if I keep doing the work.

I was diagnosed with PTSD almost 15 years ago, but Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) still isn’t formally recognized in the DSM. For now.

That’s part of why I’m telling my story — to acknowledge what I’ve lived through, and to say out loud that I know I’m not the only guy who gets pulled back into the past.

So much of what I do through bodywork, somatic movement, and mindfulness is about nervous system regulation. Regulating like Warren G & Nate Dogg isn’t just part of my work — it’s one of the biggest pieces of my journey. And now I can share this story from a place of “what I did about it,” not “woe is me.”

We all have a mental health “thing” we’re working through. This is mine.

If any of this resonates, you’re not alone.