Waking up

This is heavy.

I was never really conscious of things growing up. Never really made aware of anything. The concept of money. Of people. Life. Death. I lost my grandma when I was really young, but even then I was not really aware. Death only conceivable in my childish mind for the really old.

And now, it’s like I’m just getting hit and hit by blast after blast of reality. It’s overwhelming. It’s a shove A violent one.

And I know somewhere in the world there’s a war going on. And now, again, I have been made conscious of it. Of people waking up and having their homes ripped from them. Of some not even waking up. Of people living every waking minute in danger of losing so soon.

Now, someone I grew up seeing as invincible, one of the strongest, smartest women I know, a disciplinarian,

is gone.

Sudden. A slump. Coma. Death. Just like that. Her whole life ended in these three short words.

I am becoming all too aware of death — of dying, and it terrifies me. It is a reality, A consciousness I do not want to live with How do I find humor in anything? How do I get my heart to stop racing? To be still? It feels like in life, the thread of death hangs over… looming. and no one ever knows. Stuck in its shadow,

It is a heartbreak. But it is reality. The reality we wake up to.

Life.

Rest in peace, Ma🤍

©2026 Kelz