Some People Manifest Love. Others Just Have a Very Stubborn Heart.

A story I watched unfold. A question I still can’t answer.

“I need to focus on myself for a year.”

This was what my friend told me when she broke up with her boyfriend last week. She said mean things purposefully and triggered a fight, which escalated into a breakup. She cried then they fought some more and done! I have seen the dynamics shift drastically between them. She became the pursued from the chaser and then quit.

I said yeah girl, go ahead. I meant it supportively as usual. I also knew she’d be back with him in a week.

She was back with him in a week.

I find her situation interesting as her love story didn’t start last week. It started three years ago when he was her college senior and she was just a girl who admired him from a distance. They both had different circles and had never interacted. An Olivia Rodrigo Drop Dead situation she didn’t even know she was living yet.

Cut to three years later. Same city, Different program. He became her junior in PG and suddenly the distance collapsed. What followed was seven months of push and pull, commitment phobia, uncertainty, fights, casual slow progress from his side, absolute certainty from hers.

She would tell me “I’m manifesting a life with him. He’s already my boyfriend. I’m just waiting for reality to catch up.”

I would agree silently thinking: girl, please.

Then she walked into a bar one evening with zero expectations of seeing him.

He was already there.

And I don’t know how to explain what happened after that except reality caught up. When she finally said this isn’t working, he stopped being emotionally unavailable overnight. This emotionally constipated guy suddenly started showing concerns, gifting her flowers, Showing up for her in the right ways. The man who only wanted casual suddenly knew exactly what he wanted.

She did chase him into loving her and just never accepted a version of reality where he didn’t.

Call it manifestation or a stubborn heart or chaos with a plan.

I’ve watched this whole thing as someone who has never been in love. Not once. And I’ll be honest, I don’t know whether to be inspired or concerned.

Because somewhere in those seven months there was crying, purposeful fights and a planning plotting phase she ran like a project. The 1am drunk debrief and Constant thoughts of him were part and parcel of it.

Where does devotion end and self-respect begin? I genuinely don’t know. I’m not sure she does either. I’m not sure it matters to her and maybe that’s the point.

Would I want this for myself? I don’t know either. Maybe no, because I can’t be that persistent.

But then again what do I know about love? I’ve only ever watched it. And every time I watch it, it looks nothing like I expected. Every story is messier, louder and more stubborn than the previous one.

Maybe that’s what manifestation actually is. It’s not in the vision boards and affirmations. Just one person deciding inconveniently that this is their person and refusing to update that belief no matter what reality throws at them.

She manifested him. I watched. I’m still not entirely sure what I witnessed.

But I know one thing reality bent. And she was ready when it did.

Maybe manifestation and a stubborn heart are the same thing.

— San