The Social Cage…?

As modern civilization continues to evolve and grow over time our social customs, culture, and knowledge all change with us. An element among these that has adapted with us is the “hidden rules” of social normality. “Social norms” are considered the unspoken or hidden rules that society follows without anyone talking, or realistically without even thinking about it. Of course, with the rise of social media an obvious growth of social norms began somewhere along the road. An example of these social norms can be considered as something like having a private conversation on public thread or only using one platform to communicate even though it may not be the most practical/professional. Some consider these social norms to be constricting or confiding of their mind and of their “free will.” Certain individuals compare it to their mind being in a metaphorical cage — few pushing to the lengths of going “off the grid.” To find a better understanding of these social norms I will be experimenting by doing the opposite of what is imposed by the norm.

Unprofessional Communication…?

The specific purpose of my experiment is to go against the social norm that certain platforms are only suitable for certain conversations or communication. A more detailed example of this is posting a YouTube video to try and introduce yourself to someone, or for some reason texting using TikTok DM’s. For the purpose of the experiment, I will be choosing the second of these two examples because it seems almost everyone in 2024 has a TikTok account. This includes myself and over my course of time on TikTok I basically forgot that Direct Messages was even a thing on their platform. Even though TikTok is an application that is meant for sharing, forwarding, and talking about all of the content produced on the platform. In my personal experience, it seems the only reason people use the direct messages is to send videos back and forth. I don’t think I’ve ever even had a conversation on TikTok consisting of more than 5 messages in total. My experiment will consist of me contacting 20 people — among them being friends, family, acquaintances, and co-workers — on TikTok Direct Messages.

“Are you Ok…?”

Embarking on my experiment I wanted to transition slowly from people who I had a more real-life connection to and work down the ladder to those I had less of a in person connection with. As a testing ground I casually contacted my hometown best friend on TikTok direct messages. For the first 3–4 messages the conversation seemed to be starting well, but before I could send my reply to his previous message, he asked me why I was “texting through TikTok.” An almost immediate result was shown with him finding it out of the ordinary. Without getting to detailed I explained the experiment and moved on to my girlfriend. Starting on Thursday April 15, I texted my girlfriend early in the morning through TikTok. She immediately responded with “Good Morning??” As if completely normal I continued the conversation; even though it was obvious she was questioning the reason I was communicating with her through TikTok. The conversation continued for a short period of time and then she asked, “Are you ok… why are you texting me through TikTok.” Once again, I tried to play off the ordeal by simply replying with “why not?” I then began to contact co-workers and family through TikTok. As I began going down the list of people I would be trying to contact; I started to notice a trend. The less of an in-person connection or relationship I had with the person the less engaged with our conversation they would be. No reply was received from 6 of the individuals; unsurprisingly being the bottom 6. Taking the experiment to the next level, I began not just contacting people through Tik Tok... but I used it as my only source of communication for the final 2 days. This seemed to increasingly aggravate the individuals I was testing on; almost as if I was going against some sort of morals they had.

Rules, Guidance, or Auto-Pilot?

Bringing the experiment to a conclusion I realized some very interesting behaviors and a first-hand experience of a social norm. I ended the experiment with a handful of irritated and confused friends and family, wondering why I had been acting so strange the last couple of days. Once, I explained to them the purpose of my actions almost all of them had an expression of shock or laughter amongst their faces. Some realizing the lighthearted innocence in getting irritated at something so minuscule; others feeling shocked or ashamed of how they could fall into a social norm such as this. In “Personal Connections in the Digital Age” Nancy Baym states, “Platforms shape identities via the norms they push.” Two pages over she also says, “I briefly consider how online identity can lead to new — or at least changed — selves.” When cross-connecting Nancy Baym’s research with the experiment be below it becomes very clear as too why identities can be “made new or changed.’ For example, someone may be a very extroverted and outgoing individual in real life, yet because of an otherwise silly social norm like the one based on my experiment; they become introverted or worsen at communication to follow the social norm. Overall, I feel that social norms can bring both positives and negatives; as some protect us from abuse online, others create unfriendly environments, and few are seemingly harmless.