When you love hard (Ep 1.)

I think it is very easy for me to fall in love. But, it is very difficult for me to move on.

I met this man about a month ago. We matched on Hinge. That was actually my first time agreed to meet someone from Hinge in person. It’s funny, isn’t it? Probably the universe just knew when was the right time for me to fall in love again. Especially when every single time I started to believe that true love doesn’t exist. At least for me.

I closed my heart, super tight. Nobody. I said nobody could enter it because the last time I let my guard down, I fell in love to a guy who hit me first at the gym but again … ended up scattered my heart into pieces. It was only one date but he totally won! I fell in love then he kept come-and-go anytime when he think it’s convenient for him. And guess what, I let him do that to me. Because, I’m attached and I loved him until the day I left that city.

I turned off again my emotions and feelings. I closed again the door to my heart. And I let all the memories buried within the city that used to feel like a home to me.

After six months, I’m happy with my own. New city. New job. New friends.

Then the loneliness hit me at some point. I started to use Hinge. Flirt to random people that scared me away after few texts. I uninstalled the app, installed it again and it was on repeat. I always scared to meet new people from dating apps. Even though my new best friend got her man just a month after she moved in to the city and installed Hinge. Still, it’s probably just not for me.

But this man … he was lucky. I was so ready when he came.

Only after a week of texting, I let him taking me out on a date. He probably has no idea how scared I was on that day. But also, excited. I never tell. Lol.

The first date was amazing!

I could see him as the right man for me. Fall in love at the first sight does exist tho. I don’t care if you will argue that statement. Love is love. And when it comes, I can feel it in my heart, my soul, my body. Even the air felt warmer.

It was just so easy to love him. Not gonna lie.

So here we go again. I’m attached. I was so ready to give the world to him. Well, my Aquarius side said what she wanted to say.

I might kept the detail of the story for later. Maybe next episodes. Hahaha.

Not because I don’t know how to start pouring everything out here. But, I have to go. I have to hit the gym! Because if I don’t go gym today, I might end up crying my eyeballs out. Because ….

Yes, you’re definitely right!

He ghosted me.

p.s. pardon my grammar