We cannot really prepare for death

We cannot really prepare for death

Liverpool Player (Diogo Jota) who died in a car accident on wednessday 3rd of July, 2025.

On Wednesday 3rd of July, was a sad day for the world, especially the football fans, as we heard of the death of Jota, who is a fantastic player. This brought me to remember this article I have been penning down for quite a while, but left unpublished.

Two major events happened to me in the year 2024 that marked me in such a way that I will not forget them for a long time.

If you know me too well, one thing you will know is that I don’t feel death pain or better put, I have a way of processing death pain that makes me immune to it.

Well, you might say, how easy. Lol

I would say very easy because up till now, I haven’t shed a tear about my dad’s death despite us being buddies and having a lot of time together. Do I miss him? Yes, i do.

As a matter of fact, I was the one who took him to the mortuary when he died.

But the truth is that I simply accept what is it as it is and then ask myself what next? Once I have this definition, then pain doesn’t come to me.

The worst thing is that I do it so quickly, and it has always helped me move on. No matter how bad the heartbreak is.

So if you want to copy me, the first thing you will do is to ask if your tears, rolling on the floor will resolve the issues on ground- bring back the dead, pay the debt, e.t.c. and then if you answer is No, the next question to ask yourself is what can i do right now to resolve this issue or keep going?

Talking about the two events that taught me about death and marked me in a way I would never forget.

The first time I visited Benin State, Nigeria was to attend a friend's mother's burial. Everything was beautiful, Benin City was calm and lodging at the hotel was easy for a first-time visitor.

At 5 pm, I booked a Bolt ride to the wake-keeping church location. It was then my heart sank. A sinking I had never experienced in my entire life and this led me to experience a wave of emotions that came in layers upon layers and swiftly such that I could not handle them singularly to process them and processing them as a group would be detrimental to fully understanding what it is that I feel.

I went back to my hotel room that night not feeling good and not feeling bad either. To clear my head, I jumped into the hotel’s swimming pool and experienced the bliss that comes when you allow the water to carry away all your troubles. lol

It was then I was able to unpack my emotions.

First was that I recognize that there is a greater pain that comes from losing a guardian, than another one even if they are years apart. That is a kind of pain that your heart feels because the vacuum it creates cannot be filled. With one parent passing, you feel there is still hope and you can make the change and show the other person all the love you couldn’t to the first person.

But losing both parents is a big loss. Just like boring a hole into the ground, you feel a large hole being drilled into your heart. Many questions you will ask- What will take care of the children now? How will they survive? What does the future hold? Who will be their advisor and trustees?

A lot of unending questions with no assurance that the answers would come in bits and pieces, because how will you even recognise the right answers in the first place.

Reading “When Air Becomes Breath” by Paul in the month of August 2024 was a wrong decision. I wish I had known earlier, but I did, and the more I read the book, the more I wanted to because I was wishing for a positive turn around, some sort of miraculous healing for Paul, only to be devastated by the news of his death at the end.

The story shared in “When Breath Becomes Air” was the life story of Paul, who, from being a child, wanted to become a medical doctor and then, in a few years down the line became a doctor and an amazing one at that- helping people cure their cancer diseases and so many testimonies.

But what ended his life? The same cancer he was treating people of.

A big question I now ask is, what then is the purpose of life?

Why do we live today only to die tomorrow?

Should we be afraid of death?

Why do we die?

Why do good people die and die too early?

…… I don’t have answers that justify my curiosity and can be explained logically. I have only attempted to trust in a divine being that he knows best.

Till I find the answer and come back to write about it again, read this poem I wrote as a solace- https://www.instagram.com/p/DJxDkeetOsV/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Remember to always live in the moment, tomorrow is fickle and sometimes can be a mirage, next tomorrow is a comical character, it dances only in pictures.

Don’t be caught off guard, only to wish you enjoyed more, lived more kindly, loved more fully and give yourself wholly to a living course, for this are the legacies that would be remembered.

See you soon.