Punch Up! Punch Down! Punch Monkey!: Goodman in Punchline (1988)

You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! You’ll watch John Goodman sell insurance!

A bad sketch of “John Krytsick” fed up with Sally Field’s tomfoolery in Punchline (1988)

“Take my Chimpanzee wife…’s fleas. Seriously, groom her, she’s giving me fleas.”

Few things are less funny than a movie about comedy. Is Punchline (1988) the exception?

No.

“You all know my doctor, Dr. Baboonbatz. He sees my bright red swollen skin and says, ‘It’s a totally natural hormonal shift while you’re fertile,’ so I say “But doc, it’s my nose!”

In the film, housewife “Lilah Krytsick” (Sally Field) tries to make it as a NYC standup with the help of med school dropout “Steven Gold” (Tom Hanks), which exasperates her insurance salesman husband “John” (John Goodman).

Dumb Fact: This is not the last time Goodman will play an insurance salesman, though in this role he actually does sell peace of mind instead of blowing minds into pieces…

Dumber Fact: Most monkeys do not carry insurance policies. Term life, maybe. Flood? No way.

The screenplay sat on a Columbia Pictures shelf for seven years until the standup comedy boom of the ’80s got it greenlit in ’86, and even then it wasn’t released until Big made Tom Hanks a bonafide star. But, unlike our last Goodman joint The Wrong Guys, this cash-in doesn’t star actual comedians. That’s good for drama, but not ideal for laughs.

Amy Schumer-Gorilla: “Of course I have the strength to beat-off one-hundred men. I call that Tuesday. Before breakfast.”

Part of why this was so long gestating is that lead character Steven was hard to cast. He’s funny, but also caustic and mentally unstable to the point of suicidal psychosis. Hanks excels in the role, but it’s less “ha-ha” funny and more “what-the-fuck?” funny.

Dumb Fact: Fields and Hanks have both won multiple Academy Awards, while Goodman has still never been nominated. Travesty!

Dumber Fact: In the first scene, Taylor Negron cracks the anti-joke “I hate Wilma Flintstone…I think she’s a bitch.” And in the third act climax, Hanks calls three comedy judges “Fred, Wilma, Barney.” Meanwhile, our main man would soon be the live-action Fred Flintstone. Intertext!

Dumbest Fact: Wilma Flintstone is certainly not a bitch. That’s her mother.

A bad sketch of “Lilah” and “John,” both excited about her killing and bombing.

Goodman somewhat plays John as a stereotypically disapproving husband. But, he also repeatedly says he wants Lilah to be happy, asks to see her perform only to be rebuffed, and is actually only angry when she neglects their kids or straight-up lies to him. All in all he has great points, his wife is falling apart.

“The doctor says ‘But, you are the clown Pagliacci.’ So the Mandrill says ‘I’m not, my face just looks like this.’”

Also, Lilah never articulates why comedy is important to her until the third act, when she says she’s always made people laugh and it makes her feel special…but none of that was demonstrated at all in the first two acts! Sheesh.

Dumb Fact: There’s a scene where Lilah rushes to present a catered meal as her own cooking. That’s not the last time this exact premise will show up in a Goodman joint!

Dumber Fact: Housewife Lilah buys a crappy packet of jokes that fail, then crushes for the first time while winging it and doing crowd work. Gee, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel does the EXACT same things. Coincidence? Unlikely!

By the end of the picture, Lilah has improved as a comic, and she and John work out their differences, gleefully plotting her comedy future together. The movie does wrap up on a sweet note.

It would’ve been sweeter if there was an Ape prop comic, though! Do you have any idea how many jokes can be milked from a banana and a stick covered with ants? SO MANY.

Dumb Fact: Great Apes are known to laugh generously. Just not at this movie.

Next-up, our main man is going back to New Orleans, back to being a football jock, and back to working with his old pals. That’s a lot of backs!

The next John Goodman and an Ape is completely different from this John Goodman and an Ape, remember to tip your servers, goodnight!

“You all know the seven dirty Monkey words you can’t say television: SCREEECH, HOOHooHahHAH, rrrroooWWWLL, chit CHITT chitter CHITT, whoop WHOOP, Guh GAHH Guh GAHH, and cocksucker.”

Running Ape Count: Still 5