on 2023 and oranges on the ground

2023 was the first time i had ever lived alone. i moved out of my new jersey home prematurely (my big girl job wouldn’t start for another 3 months) because i have always wanted to be alone. alone alone alone.

i lived on 82nd and west end. i slept considerably early for someone who didn’t have to. i loved it really — there were hours devoted to trying on every combination of my clothing and copious amounts of egg salad eaten.

there is a novelty about everything when you’re 22 and i have been seeking those feelings ever since, but i think everything is about recreating the feeling you felt a year ago or ten years ago, and that will never change.

one night as i lugged my trader joe’s groceries back to my apartment, i came across a wildly-illuminated orange on the ground. there was a string of lights tangled in the vine of a nearby building lending its shine to the orange, and i stared and stared and cried.