Ageing|Women & Beauty

Old Age is Not ‘Beautiful’ No Matter What You Want to Believe

Why the hell can’t we be ‘interesting’ as we age rather than ‘beautiful’?

Photo by Glen Hodson on Unsplash

This face is incredibly interesting. She has ‘character’, the welts of a long history, roughly raked across her once smooth features. The owner would likely have some fascinating stories to tell.

Do we need to say she is ‘beautiful’, or has she earned the right to her face the way it is, and that’s all there is to it?

We need a paradigm shift about the way we view older women and aging.

I am wary of people who say the faces of the elderly are ‘beautiful’. It is as if we should never admit that time ravages youth, its health, its mind and yes, it’s looks.

I guess it’s comforting to think we can transition from the firm, line and welt free ‘beauty’ of younger age to a craggy and imperfect ‘beauty’ of old age.

That we can always find a way to have ‘beauty’.

Is that what we must tell ourselves? That aging is do-able because even after we ‘lose’ our looks, we can still convince ourselves we are beautiful?

Well I say, Fuck that! Move on.

Older age is not perfection and it’s not beautiful.

And that is not innately bad. It’s nature, and it happens to every living thing – including us.

Do I want to have hands that look like contour maps of the Kalahari desert?

Do I want my arse and boobs to sag like deflated weather balloons, and my once firm triceps to flap like sheets in the wind?

Do I love my thin, silvering hair and my slowly disappearing eyebrows?

Veins tunnel in and out across my legs. My belly squishes like playdoh no matter how many sit-ups I do.

Then there’s the unseen. Pain from broken hips, fear of heart attacks and strokes, and the overwhelming sadness of just realising that forever is finite.

Don’t be fooled. None of that is beautiful, but it’s still do-able. Life can be enjoyed even without pretending ‘beauty’.

Saying elderly faces and bodies are ‘beautiful’ is a new invention – the alternative narrative to cosmetic enhancement.

“Don’t make a fool of your face chasing youth. And if you don’t want the injectables or knife, don’t worry, you can still age gracefully and be beautiful without them.”

See, it’s a win-win! Don’t worry, you can have ‘beauty’ either way, because who wants to give up that dream? Who wants to surrender to the horrors of aging?

Well, here’s the truth.

We don’t have to pursue beauty at any age. Fuck beautiful.

We just have to be resilient and courageous again, to embrace age and all its imperfection, all it’s breaking down and stealing away.

And most of all we need to admit that we don’t have to aspire to beauty our entire lives. Not as smooth, flawless youth, and not as crinkly, bumpy elders. That beauty should not be an obsession at any age.

Our lives are written on our bodies, and on our faces, and sometimes those stories are ugly. Sometimes they’re joyful. But they’re ours alone.

We don’t have to be anyone else’s ideation of beauty. Not when we’re young, and definitely not when we’re old. My goal is to look ‘interesting’ as I age, perhaps with some ‘crazy little old lady’ for good measure. And definitely not beautiful.

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