Chill Out! Your Pretense is Showing

Chill Out! Your Pretense is Showing

Just because you’ve decided something is true doesn’t make it true.

Sunrises are always there when you let go of pretenses. Photo taken by author on the beach of the Atlantic Ocean.

I laugh a lot these days, and it’s not why you might think I’m chuckling.

The reason I find so much humor in these strange times we’re living in is that so many people are giving voice to thoughts that not long ago the majority would never have thought to share in the conversational space.

Have you noticed that everybody has an opinion on everything, even stuff you know they don’t care about?

Have you also noted that every opinion hurled so carelessly through the spaces that fill our day is scattered with that opinion being the only right opinion?

If you have noticed this strange phenomenon, you are seeing pretense.

You may not know this word, but I really encourage you to explore it.

Little Word, But Big Meaning That Shapes Our Whole Life

Pretense is not a complicated, big word. However, understanding this word can shape our lives in ways we could only imagine.

Pretense, in its simplest meaning, is a claim made or implied, especially one not supported by fact.

This word first crept into my conscious thoughts as I was driving down the road one day, listening to Kristian Stanfill’s song, *Show Me Who You Really Are.*

I was innocently listening until I was floored by a verse of the song.

I’ll take down all my defenses And I’ll let down my guard Let You break through every pretense Every wall around my heart I’ll show You who I really am So, You can show me who You really are

That day, I must have listened to the song at least ten times, as I kept hitting repeat and seeking to let down my guard and let the King of Kings break through every pretense.

The thought continued well into the night as I began exploring this whole concept of pretense. What does this mean? Why is this word resonating so much in my Spirit?

As I explored, I discovered that the Biblical view of pretense is deliberate deception, acting to appear as something one is not, often for selfish gain, pride, or safety. It is seen as a form of spiritual hypocrisy.

Armed with the lyrics of Stansfill’s song and this Biblical view of the word, I began to search my heart and discovered that much of my life is filled with pretense, much of it in my social media presence.

Examining This Concept of Deception

This is where I discovered that I really needed to chill out because my pretense was showing.

I still believe that social media was intended to be a really great tool to stay in relationship with people, but somewhere it got destroyed.

I jokingly, sort of, told somebody that social media was pretty cool until we allowed politicians and advocates for political movements to get involved.

When social media was filled with cute pictures of people in places I wish I were or pictures of them and their children/grandchildren, social media was an innocent place, not filled with the chaos and anger of today.

Somewhere, somehow, that all went away, and what we are left with right now is smellier than the deepest trash dump.

Pretense became deception, and deception became an identity capable of destroying lives.

Philippians 1:18 says, “*What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is preached; and in this I rejoice, yes, and will rejoice.”* NKJV

Examining this whole attitude of pretense has enabled me to reflect on who I am on social media and ensure that my presence represents my values, rather than just being a venue for me to prove how smart and snarky I am.

It began with social media and is now extending to every area of my life.

The Fruits of Lying Down Pretense

When we set allow pretense to be broken, beauty is all around us. Photo taken by author.

When you lie down or allow the Creator of the Universe to break your pretense, good comes from it.

The fruits of this non-laborious process will pay off for years to come.

The first and biggest fruit I have discovered is peace in my heart and a deeper understanding of who I am supposed to be.

This allows me to attack the necessary tasks in my life with vigor and a clearer head than I have had in many years.

The second fruit I have is better, deeper relationships with friends, especially with my forever girlfriend. These relationships take on more meaning and are less superficial.

We can go deeper, discuss important things, but most of all, we can laugh at who we were pretending to be.

The third and maybe most important fruit is not having to feel like I need to comment about every little situation I think needs my wit and exercise of words.

I can now sail by posts on social media and have even found ways to turn off all the numerous political posts and discussions about situations I will never be able to control or affect.