Don’t let the opinions of others stop you from doing what you want

I wish someone had told this to my 20-year-old self

Photo by Oliver Cole on Unsplash

If I can give one piece of advice to my younger self, it would be this: don’t let other people’s opinions stop you from doing what you want.

Too many times in my life I have put off or avoided doing something for fear of what other people might think. I didn’t want to be judged or have people tell me that I shouldn’t be doing these things.

For example, when I was at university, I could have explored my sexuality more. I am bisexual, but I did not explore with men because I was worried that people would think badly of me. I worried about my carers’ views. I didn’t know how accepting they would be.

But in hindsight I have come to realise that these were just fears. They were just my brain trying to protect me from possible negative reactions. But it’s also entirely possible that people would have been supportive. I didn’t consider this, though.

Most of my fears in life never became reality. For example, when I told a close friend I was bisexual, they were understanding and treated me the same as before. It felt good to know that not everyone would react negatively.

The brain has a habit of focusing on the worst possible outcome. So the bad thing that you think might happen if you do something probably won’t happen.

I really wish I had taken the opportunity to explore when I was at university because it was the perfect time. I was away from home so I didn’t have to worry about my parents finding out.

Yet, I STILL worried about my parents somehow finding out. Even though they probably wouldn’t have. However, the fear was still there, however irrational it was.

I doubt that my dad would have been supportive because he has said homophobic things in the past. My mum might have been, but I don’t know for certain.

I am still feeling apprehensive about getting Escorts to visit my home because I live with my mum. Obviously I would want her out of the way at the time. But I am still hesitant to have that conversation that I want her to go out for a couple of hours, and please don’t ask why!

I guess I need to get used to the feeling of awkwardness that might arise with these conversations.

Anyway, the point is worrying too much about other people’s opinions limits your life and can prevent you from living the way you want. It can make you frustrated and constantly wishing that things were different.

If you don’t do what you want, you might spend the rest of your life regretting it. So if you have the chance to do something, then do it. Let the haters hate. Come what may.

Sometimes it is necessary to listen to other people’s opinions, but if what you want to do doesn’t harm anyone, then there’s no reason not to do it.

If it will make you happier and stop you endlessly repeating the question “what if” in your head, then any possible awkwardness is worth it.

I need to remember this.

I know this is true, but actually acting despite fear or criticism is not always easy.

Still, I try to notice when I do take a small step, even if it’s just having a difficult conversation or letting myself think about what I really want. Celebrating these little wins helps me feel more confident, and I think it’s important for anyone on a similar journey to give themselves credit for every bit of progress. Each small victory is proof that change is possible, no matter how slow it might feel.