The Diptyque perfume that made me abandon my socialist principles and seek upward economic mobility

I thought I had browbeaten all urges for hedonism after spending my early twenties reading Marx, Lenin, Marcuse, Engels, Adorno et al. I really did.

But who would’ve thought all it took was a whiff of the main accords of conifer, pine and myrrh in Diptyque’s L’eau Trois to unravel my tightly reined in desire for the finer things in life? The middle notes of carraway made me let go of the need to be morally superior to everyone in my vicinity. The woody pine feels like a gentle refreshing breeze as if I were walking barefoot through Aare Gorge in Switzerland, and not like I had a hydro flask thrown at my head this morning in the subway after accidentally holding up the crowd in the doorway during rush hour.

The Kyara incense makes me momentarily forget the throbbing pain from the dent the metal flask left on my skull, and makes me wonder if I should quit trying to show solidarity with the proletariat by taking public transit and instead invest in a Cadillac Escalade V…

I don’t need to go to the doctor do I?

Although Diptyque is mainly known for having natural spring scents, they also have an autumnal fragrance which is kind of a hidden gem. Their Bois Corse has notes of toasted wood and a Tonka Bean base that dries down to an almost caramelly smell. Did Engels know gourmand adjacent scents would usher in an era of post Marxism? Did he know how absolutely seductive the luxurious blend of coffee and wood is?

But it’s not just that. It’s infiltrated all aspects of my life. The cedarwood mixed with coffee makes me want to switch from my thrifted bucket hat I got for $3 in a parking lot, to a Loro Piana Doroteo Hat. No more regular dog treats for my rescue Corgi. I’m thinking he will savor the taste of grass fed angus beef steaks for dinner every night. Tap water? Tcha! I’m thinking Yamazaki! I know sometimes things that are expensive are worse but sometimes… luxury is worth the moral destitution.

Now, whenever I come across a young bright eyed comrade boycotting union busting mechanisms by refusing to drink a Caramel Macchiato or whatever, I can’t help but wonder… does Diptyque know that introducing a fragrance with main accords of Pistachio and caramel would completely derail the growing leftist movement in the first world?