Embrace Your Weirdness

The journey to individuation is a winding one. Out of identification with what’s external, and into deep connection with what’s inside of us.

I’ve spent decades exploring different self-development and spiritual paths. I’ve literally tried maybe 80% of what’s been available for the last few thousand years on Earth. Meditation retreats, shamanic ceremonies, therapy variations, esoteric practices — you name it, I’ve probably sat cross-legged through it or paid someone to tell me I’m doing it wrong.

What now? This oracle card I picked up a few weeks ago pretty much summarizes the harvest of all my efforts:

You Are Not for Everyone Embrace Your Weirdness (from the Starseed Oracle Deck)

Ouch.

That hurts. A lifetime of trying to fit into society, crumbling at my feet. All those years of adapting to be loved, to be accepted. Then the exhausting process of trying to peel off every conditioning from my personality, like removing layers of old paint that someone else chose for you.

Accept it: you’re just weird. And no, you won’t win any popularity contests.

The Loneliness That Burns

The fear of walking alone through life is burning in my chest right now. The pain of being a child who barely had any friends outside her dog. Watching others go about their lives like it’s a movie and you’re just a spectator — forever on the outside looking in.

But I’m not a child anymore. I know how to be alone at this stage, having walked almost half a century on this planet. It’s got its perks, honestly. Nobody to perform for. Nobody whose expectations you need to manage. Just you and your gloriously unconventional brain.

Right after I picked this card, I watched Nimona. And cried. What a great (underrated) movie.

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Life for the weird ones is not easy. What’s different is often labeled as evil simply because it’s not understood. The real fear for those of us who don’t fit in is that we’ll endure another witch hunt, just in modern form.

By just being ourselves, we become automatically unable to fit into any group, community, religion, party, tribe, call them whatever you want. Ostracized and killed in the past, because we’re not easy to brainwash and bring into the system.

Being different doesn’t mean you still identify with a minority and eventually find your place in this world, finally seen and validated. It means you just DON’T FIT. Either you slowly move outside of the circle, or you’re slowly being pushed out.

It’s the Right Time to Be Weird

The good news is, this is the perfect moment in history to be weird and unique. Because mind-mending is going strong right now, and affiliations are comforting, but they’re also showing themselves in all their fragility and limitations. The systems people cling to for safety are cracking. The narratives most people built their identities around are falling apart.

And while it’s true that I feel the pain of being different, I’ve come to realize that I’m ultimately free. Lonely, but awake.

And honestly I’ll take free and lonely over comfortable and asleep any day.

So I’m going for it. Ready to fully embrace my weirdness, put a full stop to the tiring effort to conform with anything. And find others like me, so we can be free together.

Not to build another tribe with its own rules and its own ways to exclude people. Or to create “Weirdos Anonymous” with meetings and membership cards.

Just to exist in the same frequency and recognize each other when we do.

Because that’s the thing about being truly different: none cancontain it or define it. It’s like trying to hold water: the tighter you grip, the more it slips through your fingers.

So I decided to stop gripping. And let it flow. Let myself be undefined, unmolded, a little wild.

And somehow, in that wilderness, I’ll find the others who stopped trying to fit too.

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