The Summer Afternoons I Hated Then, Miss Now

While the world slept, I was busy surviving summer afternoons my own way

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First, let me be very clear.

Spending the longest summer afternoons used to be a real challenge for me, a struggle, a battle for survival.

Whether it was fun or not, it probably seemed like a Damn struggle at the time, but now that I think about it, I want to go back to that time.

Summer afternoons were always sad for me. Unrest, boredom, that heavy silence.

Even now they feel the same.

And there is a reason behind it.

I’ve had insomnia since childhood. Sleeping at night was always a challenge, so daytime naps were never for me.

Everyone would be sleeping, and I would wander around the house like a ghost.

“I’d ride my brother’s oversized bicycle through empty colony lanes in the afternoons. No humans, just me. Everyone else was sleeping. I’d go whenever I got the chance”

(Of course, normal people would be sleeping💆)

And I still love cycling, I ride it whenever I get the chance.

And then when I couldn't leave the house freely like that, I started playing with dolls.

One afternoon in 8th class, my classmate+neighbour came to borrow a book.

She caught me building a dollhouse.

That one look, surprised, judging, was enough to embarrass me.

That day I realized, maybe, dolls were ‘abnormal’ for my age.”

From that day on, I focused only on reading stories, drawing, making sketches, and other detective activities.

I had to spend 3 long hours, so you can imagine what I would do.

I’ve had a detective inside me since childhood. That’s how I uncovered all the siblings’ secrets back then.

Shhhh, it’s a secret🙊.

I still like dolls, I get a nostalgic feeling when I see them.

I bought a candy doll during my Masters, and I used to talk to her (secretly🤐).

But now I miss those afternoons a lot.

Because back then, it felt like a battle. Today I’d call it peace.

I wish I could go back in time, when life was so simple and tension-free.

"We didn’t realize, We were making memories, We just knew we were killing time"