Why Is Liking Someone So Uncomfortable?

Growing up, the idea of me liking someone has always been a big thing — not just for me but also for my loved ones. Understandable — I come from a strict family. However, as the years went by, I stopped thinking that their reactions were overacting or dramatic. I understood, and for me, it became the standard.

Also, my main objective in this lifetime has always been to pursue the career I’ve dreamed of since I was young. That means I don’t need any hindrance that might delay me in the process. It may sound awful and closed-minded, but witnessing how this generation handles love makes me conclude that it can sometimes be a liability — especially for someone who’s still in the process of pursuing her goals.

Funny how I started liking someone. After listing all the ideal characteristics and personality traits I once prayed for in a partner, it all vanished. It terrifies me how a person can make someone feel in ways that make her no longer recognize her past self.

After some time, I learned to look for red flags — from the person I was attracted to. I began seeking even more red flags from this horrible situation I was in. Why? Because I was in denial. It became my coping mechanism every time I felt like I was losing myself, feeling as if this wasn’t the path I had planned to take from the start.

What can I say? It’s how I saved myself from the past.

• ᯓkharyᡣ𐭩