Daughters of the Vote with a side of losing faith

This week was one of the most empowering of my life. And one of the most heartbreaking.

This week I was a delegate for Equal Voice’s Daughters of the Vote. I was given the opportunity to rub shoulders with politicians including Canada’s first female Prime Minister Kim Campbell, various Ministers including Minister Carolyn Bennett and Minister Maryan Monsef, MPs and MLAs including Nahanni Fontaine and many more.

Meanwhile the Student Society of McGill University, my alma mater that much I critique I do hold dearly for all it has given me, was falling apart. In recent weeks:

• the VP External has been accused of sexual violence and has resigned
• the way knowledge of these allegations has been handled internally over the past several months before they became public has caused concern, distrust and anger
• this week, the President of the student society resigned and a statement was given regarding allegations received after his resignation that he had perpetuated sexual violence in the past
• and today, I received word a student running to be on the executive next year stated, in response to a question about his takeaways on these matters, that his takeaway was “don’t get caught”

As many folks in my life know, I worked with and for both executive members who have resigned, including participating in calls as recently as February.

While I was spending a week focusing on empowering women, I was acutely aware that what was happening at McGill was an example of why spaces like this are needed. I was aware that these lived experiences can be a barrier for women in participating in various political institutions. Sexual violence was not a topic that we shied away from at Daughters of the Vote because for many women, myself included, it is a reality of our lived experience. In fact, I sat one seat away, from a young woman who stood up in the House of Commons and demanded action on the issue of sexual violence on post-secondary campuses.

And at many times during this week, including during that speech, reflecting on what was happening at McGill I felt helpless. These men were leaders on campus, men we trusted, men I gave not only paid labour to but unpaid labour after my contract had ended. As women, we often talk about how we will persevere and keep moving and fight. But sometimes that’s hard to do. Sometimes we are slowly losing faith. I know I am. And I think telling the story of losing faith is as valid as any other.

I am losing faith in our current society. I am losing faith in our institutions’ abilities to protect the women involved with them. I am losing faith in our justice systems that are so unreliable, it never even crossed my mind the that there could be legal repercussions. I am losing faith in educations systems that allow people to grow up with such a lack of education around or understanding of consent. I am losing faith in political institutions that are not doing more to support survivors and to take preventative measures.

But while I am losing faith, I am reaffirmed in my belief that we need change. That we need more women in positions of power. We need women we feel safe bringing allegations of sexual violence to when the men in power make us feel unsafe. We need to know there are people in positions of power who are aware of and share these lived experiences so that it would never even cross their minds to joke about it.

At times my heart breaks for those who will be the trailblazers. Because I know they will likely face violence, shaming, harassment and more. And yet, we know it has to be done. For the next generations of women. Because I can’t stand the thought of the next generation’s heart breaking the same way mine is.