Christianity vs. Feminism: Can I Be Both?

I grew up in church.

My family attended Sunday services, weekday programmes, special events and denominational activities. My mother was part of the choir, my father became a deacon, and I was an active participant in children's church. The church was more than a place of worship; it was community, family, discipline, service and childhood memories. And, as a girl who loved fashion, Sunday service was my personal Met Gala.

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At home, Christianity was equally present. There were morning devotions, night prayers, midnight intercessions and shared responsibilities. I learnt contentment, piety, moderation and self-awareness. My parents sacrificed for us, and I grew up understanding Christianity largely through their example.

My faith later became personal during university. I had an encounter with Christ, although my journey was not without complications. At one point, I found myself in a denomination whose doctrines and practices troubled me. Through prayer, love and discernment, I eventually found my way back to what I understood as truth.

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But even before I knew the word feminism, I had begun noticing something about womanhood.

Women around me were expected to be cheerful, welcoming, social, accommodating and sacrificial. These are beautiful qualities when they are freely expressed, but they become problematic when society turns them into requirements for being considered a “good woman.” A quiet woman becomes rude. A reserved woman becomes cold. A woman who does not constantly serve becomes selfish.

Girls are often prepared for marriage from childhood: learn to cook, clean, care for children, submit, please a man and preserve your purity. Yet I often wondered: who exactly are these overly prepared women being prepared for?

I had also seen how some men treated women’s labour as an entitlement rather than a contribution. Women were expected to carry childcare and household responsibilities while men could remain figureheads in their own homes.

Ironically, my own family gave me a different perspective. There were no strictly “female” or “male” household duties. Everyone contributed. Every child was valued equally. Responsibilities were shared according to age, ability and circumstance. I learnt that a family could function without making gender the basis of every responsibility.

By the age of thirteen, I had already told my mother that I did not want marriage. It wasn’t because I hated men or relationships. I was afraid of losing myself in a system where a woman’s dreams could become dependent on the preferences of an imaginary husband.

Eventually, I began questioning some biblical passages concerning women. There were Old Testament stories and laws I struggled to reconcile with what I understood about God’s character. Stories involving sexual violence, marriage, adultery, slavery and the treatment of women left me with difficult questions.

Yet questioning these passages did not make me abandon Christ.

In fact, the life of Jesus gave me another perspective.

Jesus interacted with women in ways that challenged the social expectations of His time. He spoke with them, listened to them, healed them, defended them and allowed them to participate in His story. The women around Jesus were not merely wives, mothers or objects of male authority. They were people.

This is where feminism eventually entered my thinking.

Feminism did not create my questions about women’s experiences. It gave language to questions I had already been asking.

I believe feminism, at its core, seeks to challenge the oppression of women, gender-based violence and the denial of women’s autonomy and dignity. I also recognise that feminism, like Christianity, is not a monolith. It has different schools of thought, contradictions and problematic expressions.

But I don’t think the flaws of an ideology automatically invalidate every legitimate concern it raises.

The same principle applies to Christianity. Corrupt churches do not make Christ corrupt. Exploitative capitalism does not mean every economic principle is inherently evil. Human beings can distort good ideas.

So, must Christianity and feminism be enemies?

I don’t think so.

I am a Christian woman who believes in Christ, but I also believe women deserve dignity, safety, autonomy and the freedom to develop their God-given abilities.

I believe in marriage without believing marriage is the ultimate reward for womanhood.

I believe in submission without believing submission means tolerating abuse.

I believe in family without believing women were created to carry the family alone.

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I believe in femininity without believing every woman must be cheerful, domestic, submissive or socially outgoing.

And I believe questioning an interpretation of Scripture is not the same as abandoning Christ.

Perhaps the question is not “Christianity or feminism?”

Perhaps the better question is:

How do I remain a Christian woman without losing the woman God created me to be?