Nikki’s Unfiltered — Protect and Serve According to Mr. Perky

Some heroes wear badges. Others have four legs.

Image by author created with ChatGPT. https://chat.openai.com

Morning sunlight filled the kitchen.

The husband sat at the table drinking coffee while his wife prepared breakfast.

At her feet stood two very important observers.

Mr. Perky the Dog.

And Fancy the Cat.

Both were watching the food bowls.

Very closely.

“I believe,” said Mr. Perky, wagging his tail, “that breakfast will be especially good today.”

Fancy jumped onto a chair.

“Especially good for whom?”

“For me, of course.”

Fancy laughed.

“Oh, Perky. You still think food is earned.”

“Of course it’s earned.”

Fancy stretched her paws.

“No. Food is a tribute.”

“A tribute?”

“Yes. The humans provide food because they adore us.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?”

Fancy glanced toward the wife.

“Watch and learn.”

She brushed against the woman’s leg.

“Well, hello, Fancy. And how is my beautiful girl this morning?” the woman said with a smile.

Fancy looked back at Mr. Perky. “You see?” she purred, her tail held high.

“That proves nothing,” Mr. Perky said with a snort.

“We shall see.”

Fancy leaped onto the kitchen counter.

As the woman reached for a bowl, Fancy flicked her tail.

Clank!

A spoon hit the floor.

Mr. Perky gasped.

“You knocked that over.”

“Maybe.”

“You did it on purpose.”

Fancy calmly licked a paw.

“Prove it.”

“I saw you.”

“Did you?”

“Yes.”

Fancy looked around the kitchen.

“Any witnesses?”

Mr. Perky opened his mouth.

The woman simply picked up the spoon and continued making breakfast.

Fancy smiled.

“That’s what I thought.”

Mr. Perky shook his head.

“One day you’re going to get caught.”

“Perhaps.”

“You should be more responsible,” Mr. Perky said.

“You sound like a golden retriever calendar.”

Before Mr. Perky could answer, movement outside caught his eye.

His ears shot up.

He raced to the window and erupted into barking.

“Intruder! Intruder!”

The husband nearly spilled his coffee.

The wife laughed and scratched behind Mr. Perky’s ears.

“Such a good boy. Always looking out for us.”

Mr. Perky puffed out his chest.

“There. That’s how you earn praise.”

Fancy yawned.

“You announced a man carrying envelopes.”

“I protected the family,” Mr. Perky declared proudly.

“From correspondence?”

Fancy flicked her tail and tried not to laugh.

Mr. Perky ignored her.

A few minutes later, the wife reached into a cabinet and pulled out a dog biscuit.

Mr. Perky froze.

The biscuit landed in his bowl.

His tail wagged so hard his whole body shook.

Fancy narrowed her eyes.

“Beginner’s luck.”

She immediately jumped onto the husband’s lap.

The husband chuckled and scratched under her chin.

“Oh, now you want attention.”

Fancy purred loudly.

Mr. Perky stared.

“That’s cheating,” Mr. Perky protested.

“There are no rules,” Fancy replied.

“There should be,” Mr. Perky grumbled.

“Created by whom?”

“The dog, who else?”

Fancy laughed so hard she almost fell off the chair.

The wife finally set down the food bowls.

“Breakfast is ready.”

Mr. Perky and Fancy raced across the kitchen.

They arrived at exactly the same moment.

The wife looked down at them and laughed. She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You two are impossible.”

Mr. Perky and Fancy immediately buried their faces in breakfast.

For a few minutes, the kitchen grew quiet except for the sounds of crunching, chewing, the occasional satisfied purr, and the low murmur of the morning radio in the background.

The wife shook her head and smiled as she carried her coffee into the living room.

Neither pet looked up. Competitors they might be, but breakfast came first.

Breakfast finished, Mr. Perky licked the last crumb from his bowl.

Fancy gave one paw a quick wash and stretched.

A moment later, the back door opened.

Sunlight spilled across the kitchen floor.

“At last,” said Fancy.

She strutted outside without a backward glance.

Mr. Perky followed close behind.

“Patrol time,” he announced.

Mr. Perky immediately began inspecting the yard. He sniffed the fence, checked the bushes, and peered beneath the patio chair.

Fancy stretched out in a patch of warm sunlight.

“Looking for criminals?” she asked.

Mr. Perky inspected a bush.

“Protect and serve is a twenty-four-hour responsibility,” he said.

“How brave of you,” said Fancy.

“Someone has to do it.”

“The rose bush appears pretty dangerous.”

“You mock now,” said Mr. Perky. “You’ll thank me later.”

Fancy opened her mouth with what was undoubtedly going to be another sarcastic remark when something fluttered onto the fence.

A small bird landed nearby.

Fancy’s tail gave a slow twitch.

Her eyes locked onto the bird.

The rest of the world ceased to exist.

The bird hopped across the yard.

Fancy dropped into hunting mode.

She lowered herself to the ground and crept forward.

One careful step.

Then another.

The bird hopped again.

Fancy followed.

Completely focused. Completely silent.

For the first time that morning, she wasn’t thinking about Mr. Perky at all.

Meanwhile, Mr. Perky continued his morning patrol.

He sniffed along the fence line and suddenly paused.

Something moved near the corner of the yard.

Mr. Perky narrowed his eyes.

Oh no.

Felix.

Felix was the dog from next door.

No one remembered exactly how the feud had started.

But Felix and Fancy had been rivals for years.

And neither seemed interested in letting it go.

Fancy was far too focused on the bird to notice Felix.

She was still creeping through the grass, completely focused on her target.

Felix took a few slow steps toward the fence.

Mr. Perky glanced at Fancy and groaned.

The darn cat was completely obsessed with that bird.

“Fancy,” Mr. Perky called.

No response.

“Fancy.”

Nothing.

The bird hopped again.

Fancy crept forward.

Mr. Perky sighed.

This was going to be one of those mornings.

Felix took another step toward Fancy.

Mr. Perky’s ears flattened.

Enough was enough.

With a determined sigh, he marched toward the fence.

Felix stopped and looked at him.

“Well, if it isn’t the good old Felix,” said Mr. Perky.

Felix glanced past him.

“I’m not here for you.”

“I figured.”

Mr. Perky sat down directly in front of the fence.

“That’s close enough.”

Felix sighed.

“Still doing the whole protector thing?”

Mr. Perky nodded.

“Someone has to keep this neighborhood running.”

“Of course,” Felix said.

Felix looked past him one last time.

Then he shook his head.

“You’re impossible.”

“I’ve heard that before.”

With that, Felix turned and wandered away.

At that exact moment, the bird took off.

Fancy stared at the empty sky.

Then she slowly turned toward Mr. Perky.

“Look what you did.”

Mr. Perky blinked.

“Me?”

“I was this close.”

Nikki’s Unfiltered — One Story at a Time

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