Ask God. I’m Just Living.

“Would you be able to do it?”

“Do what?”

“Life.”

I sat with that question longer than I expected to.

Because it’s deceptively simple. Two syllables. One word. And yet it contains everything, every hard morning, every season that asked more than felt fair, every moment of wondering whether the effort was worth it, whether the continuing made sense, whether the answer was yes or something more complicated than yes.

“Who the fuck knows.”

That’s the honest answer. Not the inspiring one. Not the one that wraps everything up neatly with a lesson learned and a reason to keep going that sounds good on paper. Just the plain, unglamorous truth that nobody actually knows whether they can do life until they’re already in the middle of doing it. And even then, knowing is not the same as feeling certain. You just keep going and call it knowing in retrospect.

Ask God. I genuinely don’t have a better answer than that.

What I do know is smaller than that question and more real.

I’m living right now. That’s not nothing. Some days it’s everything. I’m here, present, trying my best not to let the weight of what was or what could be steal the only thing I actually have, which is this moment, right now, exactly as it is.

I’m trying not to regret anything. Not perfectly. Not always successfully. But trying, which is the only version of not regretting that’s actually available to anyone.

And I’m making the most of the present. Not in a motivational poster way. Just in the quiet, daily, unglamorous way of showing up for my own life even on the days it doesn’t feel worth showing up for.

That’s all I’ve got.

But right now, today, that’s enough.

-rz