A Shame to Represent

Not nominating Earth’s final two worst options seems like objectively sound advice. But the wisest notions are rarely taken. If they were, we wouldn’t be thinking about politics other than to elect someone who wouldn’t bother us for a few years. As things stand in this diseased world, partners choose between syphilis and gonorrhea. Fans of each say the other is worse.

It’s not fun to hate every single person. Deciding who’s despicable in a charming way should be on a case-by-case basis. Nobody’s having fun despising contestants who resemble wrestling villains except for how they’re utterly charmless in enmity.

Business titans may create enemies while pursuing success. By contrast, political goons who condemn private enterprise only thrive at scamming others. The most present delightful choice featured either pretending governmental service is humankind’s noble purpose or thinking a handful of hideous black glass-glad towers in the ’80s embodies classy dominance.

Your friends are very uncool. I’m more disappointed in your political gang membership than when you stole the National Honor Society president’s lapel pin and traded it for drugs. Anyone could’ve seen what shouldn’t have needed to be said, but you won’t be seeing this clique after graduation.

The last couple elections haven’t just taken up more than a decade of lives that increasingly seem insignificant. Washington’s overbearing influence should fuel encouragement to find inspiration outside of those vying to tell you how much of your income. You got to decide whether you were taxed directly or tariffed into oblivion. A personal preference for harassment differentiates factions.

Recent candidates have awful ideas, but at least they seem to be unlikeable. The upside is a surprise that hasn’t presently been revealed. Choosing between which profoundly unappealing option will hassle us past the next Summer Olympics is not helping us feel superior to bordered dumps that can’t afford sporting goods. Simmering range is supposedly what’s appealing about our present retread. Thinking the ability to tick off reflects commitment to principles embodies the new Republican gang. It’s only alienating those who believe in good taste.

Negativity is sold as a virtue. Donald Trump couldn’t try harder to be disagreeable, which is testament to his limited abilities because he tries really hard. Imagine feeling enthusiastic about a loudmouth who already disappointed you. The one thing worse than liking a political candidate is liking the one who still doesn’t grasp that a trade deficit fails to mean one side is losing.

The cheap thrill of a tantrum rapidly fades, which would ideally spur self-examination. But, like Blue State fleers who ruin Red States by voting in a way that ruined their erstwhile homes, resentment is used to justify more of it.

Enemies of history and foresight prefer to think that we just sort of started at this point. Dueling political movements oppose pondering consequences in favor of living in the moment, which explains all this debt. You’ll just have to deal with the awful world they created. Dissenters might not want to back a particular charlatan but were ordered to in order to prevent whatever kind of fascism foes oppose.

Unpleasant limited options inadvertently provide the best reason to loathe politics. They told you they were helping, which is another reason to never believe them. Presidential nominees are exactly the sorts of regrettable individuals who shouldn’t be head of state or anything else.

Anyone paying just a little attention to behavior at any point in history could have known already that sociopathic narcissists are determined to tell you what to do. But that fundamental observation goes against the commands of their respective political saviors, and committing a mortal sin means exclusion from the earthly paradise of an obnoxious campaign rally.

Skeptics are grateful for false prophets and their disciples. The obvious blasphemy makes it easy to prove the point of everyone who knows elections mostly feature dueling antichrists. These are not half-assed cultists: it takes a full-assed commitment to believe the opposing demon used hellish dark magic to inflict sadness on the competing faction.

It’s been a long while since we’ve even been presented with the option to live unbothered. At least one party used to pretend they’d keep the ghastly federal process out of our lives like the Constitution specifies and human nature demands. Holding power in order to hassle those who wish to enjoy quiet evenings alone should outrage anyone who wants powers separated most of all from us. Irksome personalities reach the presidential final because of their commitment to shtick.

We’re ruled by siblings who aren’t touching you. Annoying politicians who incessantly provoke reactions show why many people wouldn’t vote for relatives. Anyone who thinks true families are comprised of people with whom we wish to associate certainly shouldn’t join these disturbed clans.

Aligning with timeshare cults has led to constant suckering. Marks clearly wish to be duped. Begging to have autonomy revoked is comforting like letting politicians spend what was yours. I’ve got bad news about choosing to admire those who reflect aspirations. Craving being bossed around is a primary symptom that’s exhibited by who wins primaries. The only thing worse than not deserving recent candidates is if we do.