The Assignment: A Short Story

“Couldn’t it all go so horribly wrong?” asks The Person.

The Agent looks at The Person quizzically, as if the question was rhetorical. The Person stared back just as intensely.

“Oh,” The Agent starts with a jerk, realizing a response is expected. Their compensation depended on getting The Person to agree to the proposal, but they can’t just outright lie.

Readjusting their face into a wide smile, they begin to reply, “Could it go wrong? Sure. It’s possible. There are no guarantees in life.” They shrug, palms up and to the side. “But, so many before you have been put in terrible situations and come out really far ahead, much farther than anyone, even themselves, thought possible, given their original conditions. I’ll tell you what, there are people who start with everything and end up with nothing. Then there are those who have nothing and work to gain everything. It could very well depend on how much effort you are willing to put into The Assignment.”

Image by Zach9222 from Pixabay

“And you cannot guarantee me a certain level of reward?”

The Person is beginning to annoy The Agent. Most people don’t ask so many questions. Given the alternative, most people jump at signing up for The Assignment. Why couldn’t The Person be like most people? The Agent thinks to themselves. Most people are so grateful for the opportunity. Most people aren’t so… annoying.

“I wish I could say you will be rewarded with riches and experiences beyond your wildest dreams. I wish I could start you with a bajillion dollars in the best possible location. But, if I did that for you, I’d have to do it for everybody. Heck, I’d do it for everybody whether they asked or not, were my hands not tied. Unfortunately,” The Agent squirms, “I don’t have that authority.”

The Person’s face contorts as they prepare to speak again.

“Before you ask,” The Agent, anticipating the question, cuts them off, “It’s no use asking me to run it ‘up the chain of command.’ Best case scenario, I’ll be laughed out of the office. Worst case, I’ll be severely reprimanded for bringing up the proposal to begin with. You don’t want me to be punished for following the rules, do you?”

The Agent feigns fear as they speak the last sentence.

The Person reels back with a look of guilt. “No, no, of course not.”

“Good. Then let’s consider the matter of guaranteed rewards closed.” The Agent relaxes as if a great burden has lifted from their shoulders — all pretend, of course.

Sensing that The Person’s lingering guilt for the unspoken question, The Agent continues in a gentler, almost parental tone. “Hey, hey, don’t stress about it. Don’t feel bad for thinking of asking for more. You should want the best of everything in your assignment. It wouldn’t be right if you didn’t. And I want you to have the best of everything. Really, I do! I just can’t promise anything, is all. You understand, don’t you?”

The Person nods sympathetically, their guilt alleviated. They ponder what other vital information they need in order to make a decision.

“I can quit The Assignment anytime I like, right?”

“Whoa!” The Agent looks shocked, as if the question came out of nowhere. “This is a serious commitment. Most people don’t just quit. Quitting is highly — I mean highly — discouraged and extremely frowned upon! You will have other people in The Assignment counting on you to do your part. Once you accept The Assignment, you can’t just be replaced.”

The Agent pauses, as if rethinking their response.

“Well… eventually, you will be… replaced,” they continue. “How long it takes depends on many factors, and each situation is very different. The immediate and short-term consequences of your resignation could be disastrous.”

Another pause.

“Yeah, quitting is very unorthodox. Yep, yep, it’s very bad.” The Agent finishes, their voice lowered, as if speaking only to themselves — trying to believe their own argument.

“But I do have the option… to quit?” The Person pushes, still unsure if quitting is a matter of “cannot” or “should not.”

“Quit?” The Agent repeats, seething with hints of anger. “For the life of me, I dunno why you’d want to quit, but yes, you have the ‘option’ of quitting.”

“Sorry, I just want to be clear.”

“Yeah, yeah,” The Agent dismisses the apology.

“What about my purpose? What will be my goal?”

The Agent lets out of hearty, belly-flopping laugh at the naïveté of the question.

The Person chuckles nervously at The Agent’s reaction.

“Please accept my sincerest apologies,” The Agent says, composing themselves. “I don’t mean to make light of your question. It’s just… there’s no way for you to even begin to realize the vastness of our organization. The number of positions. The layers. The… everything.”

The Agent lowers their voice as they lean closer to The Person, not wanting to be overheard. For the record, there is no one around to hear them.

“At some point, an organization gets to be so big that very few people have any idea what anyone is supposed to be doing.” The Agent continues. “This is the mother of those kinds of organizations. My suggestion: create your own purpose. The position has many possibilities. Find something that is meaningful to you and work on that. You can do as much or as little as you like. Most people who accept The Assignment just coast until it comes time to retire.” The Agent lowers their voice further still. “Between you and me, the organization could use some real serious downsizing. But no one’s gonna listen to me.”

The Person lingers on The Agent’s response.

“And there’s no way I can pick where I’ll be placed?”

“My apologies, I do not know where you will be placed, and I’m not the one who decides placement of our recruits anyway. Sorry.”

Maybe if they kept their answers short and to the point, The Person wouldn’t think of new questions.

“No worries,” The Person replies sheepishly. “Just trying to get as much information as I can before making my decision.”

The Person and The Agent just stand there for a while, The Agent’s gaze fixed upon The Person, hoping that they are out of questions, and The Person pondering if there is anything else they should ask.

“So, have you made a decision?” The Agent prompts The Person. “I cannot speak highly enough of The Assignment. Most people, once they get The Assignment, don’t want it to end. Unfortunately, we can’t really accommodate people not retiring. It would be nice if we could, but we can’t. You are, literally, not going to get an offer like this anywhere in the entire universe, I can guarantee you that! Besides, what else are you going to do? Whaddya say?”

The Person ponders a little while longer.

“OK, sure, sign me up,” The Person finally replies, genuinely unsure whether they really want The Assignment or if they are simply giving in.

To an outsider eavesdropping on the conversation, it might appear that The Person had been worn down into submission. The Agent, ever the consummate salesperson, had stripped away every objection until agreement felt less like a choice and more like inevitability.

“Great,” says The Agent ecstatically as they push the contract towards The Person to sign.

And that is how The Person was duped into being born.