Submitting isn’t a loss of freedom

I remember being lectured by teachers at school who warned us about how the media can influence us. I knew that in theory, but I thought I was mature enough to stand on my own and not let it affect me. No one likes to admit they’ve been subconsciously influenced.

Little did I realize that my old habit of seeking entertainment through consuming coming-of-age films had shaped me to the false belief that life was something we all had to navigate on our own, several years later. I grew up falsely perceiving religion as something subjective and abstract; that perhaps people could interpret and practice however they wanted to, without an objective distinction between right and wrong.

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After the tawfeeq of Allah ﷻ, a series of events in my life led me to question that belief.

At work, I used to write reports from interviews, focus group discussions, research papers, and news articles. We’d spend extensive time mapping out the logic of how one thing led to another, trying to predict an uncertain future, using formulas to hold other variables constant, and getting stuck in circular discussions to define one term. It didn’t take long to realize how limited our capabilities are as humans.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, the mainstream media — whether it’s books, music, or films — frames as if our only duty in life is to fulfil our desires and chase what makes us happy. If everyone merely follows their gut feeling, morality becomes subjective.

The media also glorifies “freedom” as life’s compass, and it unconsciously implants the idea that religious rulings restrict our happiness — but when you truly invest your time to learn about Islam, it’s the complete opposite.

We often mistake “freedom of speech” as a free pass to say whatever we want, forgetting that it may normalize backbiting, gossiping, making baseless accusations, and public insults… while Islam regulates how we speak of others.

We exhaust ourselves trying to invent a way of life that works, and we overlook the fact that an objective guide already exists.

Submitting isn’t a loss of freedom; it’s a relief from the burden of figuring out how life works all on your own, *fully knowing we were never supposed to.*

As Muslims, we practice our religion based on what Allah ﷻ and His Messenger ﷺ conveyed to us, not merely based on what we ‘feel’ is right to do. To put it simply, we don’t pray 5 times a day just because we “feel like it,” or we think it’s a nice number; we pray 5 times a day because there’s recorded evidence that it’s what His Messenger ﷺ taught us. Because worship is only accepted if it is done sincerely for the sake of Allah ﷻ, and it aligns with what the Prophet ﷺ taught.

This principle guides us from being left alone to making decisions based on our desires.

Have you ever realized how unreliable our feelings can be?

Most of the time, we struggle to label what we feel and rationalize why we feel them. When our life depends on following whatever we feel in that moment, we’re building on something fickle.

Sometimes, seeing someone succeed in a career path you never cared for suddenly makes you feel behind and inadequate. Your feelings tell you they’re winning, and you’re losing, even though you don’t want their job, their stress, or their lifestyle, yet you feel a sudden urge to “catch up.”

Other times, we’ve been in a situation where we overanalyze someone’s slight change of tone or facial expression, and we’re too afraid to ask what’s going on. When it seems negative, we judge the situation based on our feelings, like thinking, “Maybe they don’t like me?” and we act on them. In reality, they might be having a bad day, and it has nothing to do with us.

The instability of our feelings is among the reasons why Islam anchors life decisions in objective truth.

Among many others, this realization completely changed how I view romantic relationships. Take the Islamic approach to marriage; it isn’t solely built on ‘falling in love,’ but also on standing upon a foundation of objective standards.

In a world that monetizes love merely based on feelings, lust, and infatuation, we often fear that without dating, we can’t ever be sure if someone is ‘the One.’ But Islam shifts the question: instead of asking, “Do I love him?” it asks, “Do we submit to the same guide?”

The baseline is to meet someone who studies the deen from the same sources and has the correct understanding and belief. In shaa Allaah, you won’t have to spend too long before you can get an idea of how he acts towards his family and friends, how he deals with conflict, how he behaves when no one is around, how he takes care of himself and others — because he follows the same guide as you do.

Beyond that, factors like physical attraction, personality, and family background are secondary considerations (though it is permissible to withdraw from the process if the differences are deemed to do more harm than good. Because Islam came to achieve good or to increase it, and to remove harm or decrease it).

Having this guide laid out for us is a part of Allah’s infinite mercy.

Yet, submission is not a shortcut to escape the hardships in this dunya, because Allah ﷻ promised that this life was created as a test.

ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَ ٱلْمَوْتَ وَٱلْحَيَوٰةَ لِيَبْلُوَكُمْ أَيُّكُمْ أَحْسَنُ عَمَلًۭا ۚ وَهُوَ ٱلْعَزِيزُ ٱلْغَفُورُ “[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed — and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving -”

• — Al-Mulk (2)*

But when we follow the guidance of The One who created this life, we are constantly preparing ourselves so that, in shaa Allaah, when trials arise, we navigate them with the knowledge about the Revelation that remains perfectly unchanged.

Learning how Islam preserves authenticity so carefully, that the belief we’re taught today is exactly the same as what was taught more than a thousand years ago, never ceases to amaze me, biidznillah. Whether it’s a definition, a principle, or an encouraged behavior in specific situations — regardless of the time, what country you’re from, what language you speak, your ethnicity or skin color, when we learn it from the correct understanding, we all follow the same guide: The Quran and the Sunnah.

When we think about it, everything is already put on a silver platter; all we have to do is simply follow it.

And yet, what makes it challenging to submit completely is our attachment to this worldly life: the desire to fit in, accumulate wealth, to be seen as someone of high status, the fear of losing certain possessions, the arrogance of feeling like we’ve got things figured out, and the challenge of holding onto the delayed, beautiful promise in a world where people prefer instant gratification.

It’s exhausting trying to hold everything up on your own, and there’s a huge relief in realizing you don’t have to.

And Allah ﷻ knows best.

May Allah ﷻ ease us in being istiqamah and make us the people of Jannah. آمِيْن، اَللّٰهُمَّ آمِيْ

Allahumma baarik اللّهُـمَّ بارِكْ

(Side note: this is a re-upload of a piece originally published last month, edited again. It seemed like I was forcing different topics into one essay and couldn’t help but separate them now~)