Filing Our Own Stories

Sasha, have you noticed just how preoccupied people can get with their phones? … Sasha? … Did you hear me?

What, Quinn?

Look at you. For all that doomscrolling through your media accounts, it’s a wonder you don’t have carpel thumb.

That’s not a thing.

You know what I meant — Repetitive Strain Injury.

Right. But check this out — “Massive comet zooming through solar system could be alien technology.” And this one — “Interstellar Object ‘3I/ATLAS’ stuns scientists.”

Those are just headlines designed to grab your attention. And they worked.

Sure, because there’s something to this.

Did you bother to read and critically examine the stories or are you just feeding off the headlines?

What? You don’t think these could be alien? Some famous scientists think so and were stunned by what they saw.

Hold on. I need to buy the morning paper. … Now, about those sensational headlines you keep reading.

No. You hold on. I watch you flip through the paper, scanning its headlines. Unless you took that Evelyn Wood speed reading course years ago, I doubt you went beyond those headlines. And even with speed reading, you’re not speed thinking.

You’re making my point, Sasha. Maybe even against me. Neither of us are really thinking deeply about the news we’re consuming, are we?

Quinn, I was only pointing out that some scientists were stunned by what they saw.

Really? Stunned?

Well, okay. I get it now. That headline was probably overreaching with that word. For all I know they might have said, “I’m stunned more money hasn’t been earmarked for investigating these naturally occurring phenomenon”? Now, I feel a bit foolish for how it pulled me in, like that cheese Danish in the counter that’s been calling my name.

Forget it. It happens with so much demanding our attention with these phones. They’re addictive.

I don’t disagree. Here, let me get us a coffee refill while your eye saccade movements over your paper magically delve deeply into the subjects that my doomscrolling headlines can’t touch.

Ouch! I deserved that.

…

Here you go. Careful not to spill it on your paper or you’ll only be left reading those headlines like me. Ha!

Okay, okay! So, let’s get past the headlines to the stories themselves. Do they support the claims these headlines are shouting at us?

Well, probably not. I’ll admit, I sometimes just accept the headlines as fact and then backfill them with a story in my head. Gracious! I’m living off cheese Danish!

Let’s swap stories and dig deeper. You take my paper and I’ll read your story about the interstellar object that “stunned” scientists.

Fair enough.

Let’s see…How should I approach this?

What if you tried writing the story’s lede on your own purely based on what the evidence actually supports?

Good approach! Forget the cheese-filled headline. Hmm…I can tell you this much. No scientists are saying they’ve found aliens. Far from it.

That’s a good start. Now let me pick one of the stories from your paper. When did you start reading The National Mail?

Okay. You have your food cravings. I have my news cravings. Don’t judge.

Oh, here’s a title. “MIRACLE DRUG ’NEURAL REDUX’ CURES 90% OF ALZHEIMER’S CASES IN JUST 3 WEEKS — DOCTORS SAY PATIENTS REMEMBER NAMES THEY’VE FORGOTTEN FOR DECADES!”

I saw that! Wouldn’t that be great?

If it were true. … I’m reading… Oh, here. The company says they’re “optimistic” that they’ve found a cure and “hope to get approval to start clinical trials.”

That’s what I suspected. False hope with a serving of empty, unproven promises.

These are the easy ones. But the challenge is with the ones have a measure of face validity.

Face, what?

They look good on the surface. The headline doesn’t scream at you. And the story reports a bunch of purported facts from legitimate sources. Unfortunately, the evidence they report doesn’t support the main claim of the story or only supports some of it.

Do you mean they “overreach”?

Yeah. Like when we both bought into that home WiFi offer, only to learn that their amazing speeds only happened during off-hours?

Or, your story about that ‘3I/ATLAS’ alien rock.

Oh, the one the scientists from Harvard said might be alien?

Yeah, but how many scientists? And did they actually say they thought it might involve aliens? The funny thing is that the real headline about an interstellar object might have been interesting enough without the phony embellishments.

I guess when you’re writing for a headline, it’s easy to toss around loose statements.

Seems so. If I had to make a serious claim and then gather the evidence to fully support it…well, that’s tough.

I don’t think this is about news reporting, Quinn. I’m thinking this is the high-bar we should be expecting of our own thoughts — one we need to work at like any other skill requiring practice.

I think I’m going to enjoy our coffee conversations so much more as we both work on this.

My brain is definitely going to feel this change for the better.

A cheese Danish to go is on me. You can wrap it up in my paper.