#7 PRISCILLA MAKES COLCANNON

THE CURMUDGEON’S KITCHEN PRESENTS

How to Make Colcannon

By: Priscilla Pinsforth

Not sure why, but am feelin’ abit spry today. Don’t have to go out, so me doesn’t have to deal with the likes of you all. Tis a good day when that happens. I am best and happy when I can be alone with me cookin’ and a tad bit of writing to you gits. This don’t mean I want to be your friend, so get over it.

This month I am remembering me youth in Dublin, and me Ma in the kitchen. She was a wonder with all the traditional Irish dishes, but not much for creativity. Most of the recipes I have shared with ya here have some origination with what Ma cooked. I have bedazzled them of course, but the basics remain true to me beloved homeland.

One of me Ma’s favorite dishes to cook and to eat is Colcannon. It is a marvelous comfort food pratie dish (potato to you). I know, another pratie dish. Bugger off you Idaho people, we was planting praties centuries before you ran off the Indians, and stole their land. Tis only natural that our staple dishes in Ireland feature the lovely but much maligned pratie.

I learned Colcannon from me Ma, perfected it for my first husband, featured it in my first restaurant in Dublin, and made it famous when I moved to New York, working for Chef Eric Ripert. Convinced him that this Irish dish belonged on his French menu. Met a young chef there named Bourdain who was just coming on as I was leaving. Pretty much of a druggie and a wonk, but a fine cook. Wasn’t my type though so I didn’t make any moves. Saw him on the telly once eating bugs in Africa.

Colcannon is a classic, comforting mash of praties, kale and butter, flavoured with scallions (spring onions if ya don’t know), and the variations are endless. Not to be confused with the pedantic Champ dish, which is similar, but not nearly as good.

If Colcannon is made for a holiday or special celebration, it is tradition to add charms to the dish. Me Ma would say if ya got a button in your Colcannon you would be a bachelor for a year, and if ya got a thimble, you would be a spinster for a year. If ya got a ring, well marriage was in your future, and if you got a coin you were destined to be rich. All a bunch of old woman rubbish, as none of it ever worked fer me.

Like most of me Irish dishes, this one is simple and easy to make. Wouldn’t offer up anything here that would be difficult, or none of ya Neeps would ever be able to make it. Follow along if ya can.

Start with 4 lbs of russet praties. This should be 7 to 8 large baker type praties. Don’t use the waxy kind, they just don’t work in this recipe. Follow me directions or stop reading right now! Peel and quarter the praties and put them in a pot to boil. Don’t forget to salt the water.

While the praties are cookin, place 8 cups of fresh green Kale in a large saucepan. Cover with boiling water, and keep at a slow rolling boil until the Kale is wilted and has turned a darker green. This won’t take long, so pay attention. A couple of minutes at the most. Do not overcook the Kale. If ya have to err, do it on the side of slightly undercooking it. If you buy your Kale on the stock, which ensures it is as fresh as it can get, my restraunteur friend Hubert Keller taught me to remove the stem by holding the Kale stalk in one hand. With the other hand place the thumb and forefinger at the base of the leaves on the stock. Pull the stalk with the first hand, holding the other thumb and forefinger firmly in place. The Kale leaves will peel off the stock easily.

Remove the Kale from the water and drain it well. Squeeze all the excess moisture out, then place the Kale in a large sauce pan with 1/3 of a stick of Kerrygold butter. Do not use anything but Irish butter, ever! Cover the pan and move to the back of the stove to let the butter melt gradually from the heat in the Kale. Keep the Kale warming until needed to add to the pratie mix.

By now the praties should be soft and done. Remove from the pan and drain well. Place the praties in another larger sauce pan. Place the pan on low heat and simmer without the lid to evaporate the excess moisture. When the praties are dry, add 1 cup of half and half, 1/3 of the stick of Kerrygold butter and 2/3 cup of chopped scallions (green onions to you). Bring the mixture to heat, but not to a boil. When steam rises from the liquid, you are nearly there.

Now that you have the milk and butter nice and hot with the praties, it is time to mash. Use an old school potato masher, or a fork to do the mashing. Don’t even think about using a mixer as it will make the praties gluey and disgusting. Once the pratie mix is smooth, add the Kale and incorporate. Season to taste with salt, pepper and a 1/4 teaspoon of Rosemary.

To serve Colcannon use a deep dish bowl. Make a volcano out of the mix, and add the final 1/3 stick of Kerrygold butter to the mouth of the volcano. Sprinkle fresh chopped parsley over the volcano and serve nice and warm with butter melting in the center.

Hearty and simple at its core, the dish is made surprisingly delicate by the creaminess of Kerrygold butter. The Kale adds a unique flavor profile and makes Colcannon an unmistakable Irish comfort food. Served of course, and as always, with a stout Guinness. Am feelin hungry now, so to Hell with you all, I am goin’ to the Alibi for Taco Tuesday!

Publishers Note: This is the seventh edition of The Curmudgeon’s Kitchen, written by Priscilla Pinsforth. Born in Kilkenny, Ireland, she has lived all over the world, and survived six husbands. She is a world renowned chef who once slapped down Chef Ramsay, but is now retired. She hates our food and travel writer with a passion. She lives alone with her seven cats, a hampster and a white rat. She abhors social media, especially twitter and facebook. She hates the telephone and will correspond through email — if she ever sets up an address — which will probably never happen.