The Walk That Brought Me Back

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Over a year ago, I asked my cat Penny to be my coach.

Not because I’d lost my mind, though at the time it did feel like I was losing something.

I had gotten to a place where life just felt off. I felt too scattered and too tethered all at once.

Despite having moved to a beautiful place surrounded by forest, that feeling of magic and wonder that had always been part of my experience on some level seemed to have disappeared.

I tried all the usual ways of finding my way back. Vacations. Coaching. Self-development books. Thinking harder. Each helped for a while, but the effect never lasted.

The only moments I truly felt like myself again were when I was around my cat. Penny loves the outdoors. She was constantly trying to get me to go outside with her, and after a minor health scare, I realized it might help me too.

Only I didn’t. There was always something more important, or I would lose track of time and then it was too late, or I just didn’t feel like it that day because I was too tired. You get the idea.

But one day I found myself walking with her up a short hill. When we got to the top, winded, I sat down on the ground and rested. I jokingly asked Penny to be my coach, to make sure I took a short walk with her every day after work. Starting the very next day the ritual began.

It was like we had a contract. She would appear every single day around 5pm and persistently ask me to go outside. She wouldn’t accept treats unless they were given to her on our walk. If I was busy on a call she would patiently wait for me to finish, and then pester me again until I surrendered.

So I started taking a short walk with Penny every single day in the woods. We’ve been walking for eighteen months, with very few exceptions if I’m feeling ill or if it’s raining heavily. Penny doesn’t mind drizzle, thanks to her thick fur, and I have a large umbrella.

We always walk the same route. A paved road, slightly inclined, with no houses on it. The road dead ends at the forest. There’s loads of sweet-smelling wild rosemary and thyme amongst the pine, oak and strawberry trees.

I am often pleasantly surprised by local wildlife. Hawks, foxes, the occasional roe deer, various birds, and even bats in the evening. I never know what we will encounter, although Penny always knows when there’s something interesting in the shrubs.

At the end of the road I sit on the ground, pet Penny, and give her treats. Sometimes I meditate or speak affirmations, sometimes I just watch the sunset, feel the wind on my face and listen to the birdsong, and sometimes I battle the ants that come for Penny’s treats.

After all this time, I feel like these trees know me, and I know them.

I start to feel grounded the moment we begin the walk. By the time we reach the top of the hill, something in me has softened and settled.

This small daily ritual gave me back what I thought I had lost.

The magic, wonder and peace were still there, just waiting for me to make space for them.

“And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.”

— John Muir