Feeling Free

This time last week was my last day in office before my sabbatical and the mood shift between that day and the week I was having before was like whiplash.

I felt so free — for the first time in what felt like forever. It’s like it suddenly hit me that I’d finally made it to my sabbatical. I was finally going to be off work for an extended period of time and I could do whatever I wanted. I was on cloud nine.

I know that this sabbatical is not going to magically fix all my problems, but one of the biggest issues I was having at the end of last year was that I didn’t feel free. I felt like all I was doing was working and didn’t have time for anything else just the bare minimum before going back to work.

And now, I have taken work out of the equation and it is time to rediscover things I enjoy and how I want to spend my time now that my days are free.

The cloud nine feeling admittedly did not last super long. I had a really good time on Friday as we went for work drinks and I was just letting loose. And by that, I mean literally I felt like I was just exhaling a really long breath I was holding as I’d finally made it through to this point.

After that, the weekend was pretty busy. I immediately was thrust into plans with my partner and my friends which I didn’t hate, because like I said, I have the time now and so I wasn’t worried about having plans a few days in a row, because I knew I had time to recover.

Now that it’s been a week of time off I think I am trying to figure out what comes next. Obviously having freedom to do what you want is great, but the next part is trying to figure out what it is I want.

I think this week was focused on doing the necessities, in that I cleaned the house, I got back to the gym and I was spending time with loved ones. I’m not saying that these weren’t good and enjoyable tasks, but now it’s time to figure out how to relax.

I feel like I spend too much time rushing around or focusing on things I have to do. I turn all my hobbies and joys into chores and so I need to work on not doing that. So that’s what I am going to try to spend some time doing this week.

In terms of posting here, I am going to try to post at least once a week. But I also don’t want to pressure myself into feeling like I have to do it. At the end of the day this is a silly project for myself so if I don’t contribute to it the only person who will be upset is me. So I’ll see you next week, or maybe in a couple days, or maybe not at all. We’ll find out.