10 of the Funniest Oscar Wilde Quotes

The man was a treasure trove of ironic comedy gold

Image courtesy of Napoleon Sarony from the United States Library of Congress

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Oscar Wilde’s ability to flip societal norms on their head with a single sentence remains unmatched. Get ready for a round of his finest, sharpest, and most delightfully cynical observations.

“I can resist everything except temptation.”

What better way to begin this list than with his most prolific quote? It is actually one of the most famous, witty, and deliciously ironic lines in English literature, and a hilariously roundabout way of saying, “I give in to what I want immediately.”

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”

This one’s a perfect blend of supreme confidence and playful self-deprecation. Sometimes we get so consumed by our own ego that we mistake our confusing, nonsensical rambling for deep intellectual genius.

“Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.”

This quote is the ultimate anthem for the lazy as it perfectly captures Wilde’s rebellion against the grind culture of his era. The quote was intentionally meant to shock the older generation and delight the youth with its cynical, seemingly upside-down wisdom.

“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”

A quote that highlights Wilde’s absolute favorite subject, himself. It is a proud admission that one lives an incredibly scandalous life and dramatizes his or her own thoughts to the point of theatrical entertainment. It’s a way of saying, “I’m the main character and I know it.”

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”

This one is very philosophical. It points to a deep spiritual truth we often refuse to admit to ourselves. Getting what we want destroys our fantasy about it. The reality of having the thing rarely matches the thrill of chasing it.

“Anybody can make history. Only a great man can write it.”

It’s a bit ironic because we live in a world where we are constantly told that action takes courage while talking is cheap. Wilde argues that action only requires brute force while communication demands a high intellectual mastery. Writers will relate.

“What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

A cynic, in Wilde’s eyes, is someone who has become so jaded, transactional, or hyper-rational that they can only understand the world through the lens of utility and price.

They can tell you exactly what an object, a person, or an action costs, but they are entirely blind to its inherent goodness, beauty, and emotional significance. A quote that still endures in our time.

“High hopes were once entertained of democracy; but democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.”

When 51% of the population votes for something, the other 49% have to comply. Wilde argued that this isn’t true freedom. Instead it’s just a mob using the ballot box to force its will, morals, and standards onto the individual.

Another enduring statement that is made manifest in today’s highly polarized western society.

“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”

If fashion were truly beautiful wouldn’t it be timeless? By changing the styles every six months, the industry inadvertently admits that what it created six months ago is no longer desirable.

What makes this quote particularly hilarious is that ironically Wilde was a massive fashion icon of his day.

“The basis of optimism is sheer terror.”

While it sounds like a silly and random joke, it is actually a profound insight into how the human mind copes with fear.

Wilde argues that we aren’t optimistic because we genuinely believe things will get better. We are optimistic because we are absolutely terrified of what will happen if they don’t.

Bonus Quote

“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”

According to legend, Wilde spoke this line to a United States customs officer when he first arrived in America. Genius is a rare commodity, isn’t it?

For homework, I challenge you to use this quote in one of your own real life conversations. Just casually slip it in and see how everyone reacts.

And on that genius note, which quote was your favourite?