Use your energy for something you want

I went through this; you don’t make the same mistake.

Take back your control.

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

I know I have wasted a lot of energy crying, feeling low, and getting caught in negative thoughts. But this time I feel something different. I want something, and I need to save my energy to fight for it.

Things look different now. I do not want to cry. When I cry, it leads to sadness, then eventually a headache, and then I lose interest in doing anything at all. And most of the time, the thing I cried about does not even work out.

For me, crying has always been a way of expressing something when I am upset, angry, or when I want something and the other person does not agree. Some people shout when they are angry. For me, it was crying.

For a long time, I knew I should not cry. I do not like crying, and it is not good for my health. I tried to stop it by forcing myself not to cry.

But now I see it differently. I think about the energy I lose when I cry. The time I lose staying sad after it. The opportunities I lose because I stop trying to make things work.

This realisation feels different because I know how precious time is to me. I know how valuable my energy is. I also know the cost my body pays when I cry, because I have experienced it before, and it was not easy to recover.

It is not really anger that makes me cry. It is the feeling of not being heard. The feeling that I am not getting what I want or that my opinion does not matter.

I used to think maybe I am just soft, and that is why I cry. But that is not the truth.

I cried because I did not know another way to respond. It came naturally. I thought accepting it would make me feel better instead of resisting it or trying to control it. But I realise now that accepting it like that was not the solution. The loss is bigger than just a moment of emotion. It costs time, health, and energy in the long run.

Today I feel like I have moved past that phase. I have no interest in going back there. I want to grow.

I want to use what I am feeling to improve myself. If I want a situation to change, I want to fight for it and work towards it. Every small win tells me that I am becoming stronger mentally, and that itself is progress.

I want to use my energy where it truly matters and where it aligns with my goals. And lately I have realised that people rarely care about feelings, and certainly not always mine. So I would rather keep my emotions steady and focus on getting things done.

Taking my control back. And ready to face my days with more resilience and calm. Because I owe my opportunities, my body, mind and people around me peace of mind. And I deserve the best.

Happy improving every day. You are precious, and so is your time and energy :)