Flying Through The Dreams

And the Nightmares

i know

who i am

i know

my dreams

my wishes

my self

but

i just

dont know

how to be me

how to be the girl

running through the forest

dancing in the rain

flying

through the dreams

i dont know

how to dream

i know what i dream about

but i dont know

how to be in

those dreams

for in the dreams

when i fly

fly through my pleas

my fears

my self

for in those dreams

i am

no longer myself

i am no longer

the person

who lived

these nightmares

no longer the person

who dreamt these fears

who felt these pains

i know

who i am

but i dont know

how to be me

how to dream

so freely

it hurts

to have a longing

in your heart

to take the evil

the hate

the pain

and swallow it up

holding the pain

inside of me

for as long

as i live

its too hard

too hard

to see these wars

to see these tears

to hear these screams

but instead

of wanting

to leave

like so many

others

want to embrace it

i want to befriend

befriend the one

with a gun

pointed

at my head

i want to

jump

jump off a cliff

while trusting

gravity

will allow me

to live

while trusting

the parachute

will not

break

while trusting

the water

will be just

deep enough

i want to hold the knife

and instead of using it

i want to break it

break it

with myself

i want to be

powerful enough

to keep them safe

not being powerful enough

not being hurt enough

why is it fair

that i cry

when i have not faced

anything

why is it fair

they never cry

when theyve faced

the world

and barely

survived

maybe

its not

my tears

that i cry

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