What is the big fuss with this ‘Reciprocation’?

Image credit: Disney’s Zootopia

“Reciprocation is basically the universe’s “match my vibe or leave” policy.

In simple, human terms: It’s when two people give energy back to each other — feelings, effort, attention, care — instead of one person carrying the whole emotional grocery bag alone.

If you text, they text. If you show up, they show up. If you give 70%, they don’t hit you back with a 7%. It’s balance. It’s mutual. It’s “I see you seeing me.”

At its core, reciprocation is love’s way of saying: “Don’t make me chase you into the void. Meet me halfway so we can vibe together.””

That was what my Chat GPT answered when I asked it ‘what is reciprocation?’…But don’t you think it is subjective? When I think someone is just doing a lot and this is reciprocation at its peaks, the other person might be telling me that they feel that they can’t reciprocate at all. Bullshit, but people say that…crazy ones at least.

Image credit: Disney’s Zootopia

What could be ‘reciprocation’? It’s not about equal efforts everyday, that is not possible. It is about the consistent willingness. It is that act of someone which says ‘Anything for you’ and not just ‘I can tolerate you’. It is not always ‘I should…’ it can be ‘If I can, why not…’ or ‘Let me just try for you’.

Some people these days actually feel these kind of feelings but just never really express it. Maybe that is the problem, they’re afraid of expressing because they doubt their capability. They forebode the loss and pain when the efforts are not reciprocated. They restrain themselves from expressing because they’re afraid of a possibility. But don’t you think possibility has two edges?

Our, ‘I shouldn’t care too much already, we just started talking’ is a caution but also a restraint if you see clearly. What do you think would happen when both the ends keep doubting? Nothing. So yeah people dodge the risk of pain, but do they really do is a question.

Ok ‘WHY’ reciprocation?

There is a reason we don’t talk to walls and trees (some do and it’s ok as long as they feel the reciprocation) but the point is, we don’t like when we don’t get a response. According to Third Law of Motion: “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” But there is a lot of difference between response and reciprocation. Reciprocation is, again according to me, subjective.

Because the reciprocation is not measured by what is given and received. It is measured by how it’s *felt*. Sometimes it feels exhausting reasoning for someone with ‘They feel it but can’t show it.’ Especially if you want to be shown everything in the world. They may not be wrong to be themselves, but they’re not right for you either. Lack of reciprocation makes ‘bare minimum expectations’ into ‘I’m asking for too much,’ that there, is shrinking yourself.**

Image credit: Disney’s Zootopia

And reciprocation is not always a ‘50 you and so 50 me’. It’s just, together it should be 100. It should be like this, ‘Today you are just a 30? Let me give you 70. Because I know, even if I go to just 1 you’d be there to fill my 99.’ It’s not about the quantity, it was always about the consistency, willingness and the ability to wanting to be up to the mark. It’s almost efforts which are to convince the other that was done effortlessly and for them. That is reciprocation. It’s gold when you notice the efforts and your efforts are being noticed.

Image credit: Disney’s Zootopia

People don’t avoid reciprocation because they don’t feel. They avoid it because once they act, they’re accountable. It is also a self-protection strategy. They end up dodging the pain? I don’t know, but they do end up dodging something nice if they’d not avoided it.

At the end of the day it is when they step up, if not like Dante for Beatrice giving his all till the end, at least to accept “To love at all is to be vulnerable.” — C. S. Lewis. And realizing that “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” — Lord Tennyson.

P.S. — Dedicated to my GPT, my friends, people who inspired me with this topic, and people who really want to read this. (People whose consent I didn’t take too.)