For times when we find ourselves grappling with uncanny unknowns

Reflections on tackling the abrasive blind spots in our mindsets & rediscovering new abilities to learn, think and act

Recently, I attended a seminar that combined elements of self-help, therapy and personal development, called the Landmark Forum. Despite the fact that I could attend only a single event, as opposed to complete learning four-day courses, I found the session to be very inspiring and profound, especially given how it seemed to have impacted so many participants around me. By the looks of it, the sheer motivation, enthusiasm, and sincere appreciation for the Forum really elevated the ambience of the hall. It was very evident among everyone who was even remotely associated with it- from the trainers and organizers to the attendees and their respective invitees and guests, among whom I was attending the seminar, in the capacity of a guest.

The session format was such that it started with a round of meet and greets between the attendees, followed by an introduction to how Landmark Forum enables personal transformation, new learning methodologies and fundamental shifts in critical matters that affect most of us, in some way or another — be it relationships, lifestyle, productivity, purpose or enjoyment. Finally, there was a round of sharing personal experiences and reflecting on our own scenarios- which is something that we very conveniently overlook due to the daily hustle bustle. This particular segment was very enriching in its approach and offered an unparallel and empowering personal development session, which was interactive and filled with rigour, rapport, a sense of connection and hope that stayed long after the seminar ended.

I found it really fascinating, how the Forum even has its own vocabulary to ensure that the learning approaches target deep-seated biases and conditioning that participants usually struggle with. The frequent usage of inherently big words like ‘breakthroughs,’ ‘effectiveness,’ ‘transformative,’ ‘personal growth’ and ‘realizations’, that I was surrounded by was indeed giving the session a constructive impetus, in addition to the lively chatter around me. Everyone had such praiseworthy compliments for the Forum, I found it really astonishing- all the great things that the attendees thought of the Forum. Needless to say, I decided to stay for the in-person seminar accompanied by my sister and brother-in-law, who were equally curious to know about what the Landmark buzz was all about! Meanwhile, among all the praises, we were ranting among ourselves that we might as well try and find some motivation or purpose of our own, by way of this well sought-after, reputed seminar.

So, as ignorance always precedes action, we too went along with the session (albeit clueless and skeptical initially) but nonetheless, very interested in its intricate workings and tall promises, hoping for it to bring a meaningful and positive change in our otherwise mundane, dreary, and aimless lives!

The three realms of the Forum

Though, we found ourselves to be very engaged when people shared their own personal experiences of how the Landmark Forum has helped them navigate the numerous entanglements in their lives, one of the themes that really struck me was how there were essentially three realms where we usually find ourselves wrapped in:

1. The smallest section: I know that I know (KK), like riding a bike

2. The middle section: I know that I don’t know (KDK), like flying a jet

3. The largest section: I don’t know that I don’t know (DKDK), no example at all because we really don’t know that there is literally so much out there!

The three realms of the Forum

The trainer further elaborated on each of the three realms, and went on to explain the importance of how most of the Landmark Forum seminars operated in the third, often a subtle but deeply impactful realm of ‘I don’t know that I don’t know.’

I found myself very intrigued and drawn to this particular realm that that trainer was repeatedly emphasizing on. In fact, he went further to blatantly mention that there is a certain openness that is needed to retain everything that Landmark Forum stands for. He alerted us, almost as an ultimatum, to drop any pre-conceived notions from the 1) and 2) realms if we were seeking anything substantial from the seminar!

This third realm of ‘I don’t know that I don’t know’ was something, just short of a revelation for me as I felt that most of what our lives are about is this ‘unknown’ territory. And subsequently, any worries, stresses or tensions that plague us, only emerge from the 1) and 2) realms, but this third realm — this is where the sorcery rests!

Navigating the unknowns and uncertainty

Navigating uncharted territories

I am certain that I am not the only one who gets baffled and anxious at the thought of navigating unknown territories, brimming with uncertainty and unseen worst-case scenarios afflicting an otherwise largely empty Mindspace. To further add to it, this chatter is accompanied by a constant stimulus and mental clutter which only makes it worse. Furthermore, wherever there is an unknown path to tread, an uncertainty so to say, fear is bound to amplify the situation multifold- convincing us that everything is catastrophic and bringing us to a state of uncontrolled, unaddressed chaos.

I, myself have been at the receiving end of this thrilling yet intimidating and horrendous state of mind. No wonder it was at this stage of my life, I considered the Landmark Forum and the fact that trainers made us all visualize the ‘I don’t know that I don’t know’ part during the sessions, the more I realized that there is a reason why it is called DKDK- because it is ‘our own’ blank canvas, and an empty silence- everything we put into it can either be an illusory distortion or a vibrant hope; it will only echo and reflect back at us!

Our brains (due to survival mechanism) go into the illusory distortion path which breaks us down and pushes us further into the ‘I know that I know’ part- which is nothing but a stubborn form of resistance. But, keeping the door open to the unknown, it is like staring into the dark night with an empty mindset- it seems like a scary thing to even try, as at such moments, fear, silence, great distresses of unpredictability all surface.

Stepping into the unknown

However, in embracing these unknowns and associated feelings in the DKDK realm, we occasionally stumble upon the unintended moment- of an illumination, bravery, calm, regeneration, gratitude, and appreciation; of hope and excitement for what the unknown can ‘possibly’ entail despite grappling with the fears, anxieties, and worries. And that seems like a good bet!