Ladies, Just Because a Man is Handsome Doesn’t Mean He’s the “One”

Dating Romeo isn’t always the best thing

pic by mom he looks better with longer hair

Ok, ladies, my son is handsome. It’s no thanks to me because he’s adopted, so I can’t claim responsibility for his looks. He’s tall, dark, and handsome. You would not believe the attention this young man gets. I wouldn’t believe it either if I hadn’t witnessed it for myself.

My gosh, ladies. Control yourselves!

Once, we were in a family-style restaurant, and one of the servers brought him an entirely new plate of food. None of the others of us were so lucky. By the time he got home, he was chatting with her and her friends on Instagram.

Did I mention his father and I were sitting right there?

My son recently had his wisdom teeth out. When his father brought him home, he wrote me a note and said the ladies at the dentist’s office wanted him. He grinned a bloody smile with drool sliding down his face as I read the note.

I scoffed. “You always think women want you.”

His father laughed and confirmed the story. The ladies, some married, gathered round him, took off his hat, and stroked his hair. They told him to never wear a hat again because his hair was so soft!

It’s a shame that they didn’t give him a discount on his bill. Nope, that one went to the bank of mom.

There have been many times since he moved back home that a different girl would pick him up every single night. Rarely did he see one more than once. It was amusing at first, but then I became concerned about the repercussions of such behavior. It’s not the way we raised him for sure.

His longest relationship was two years, and when that one ended, his heart was broken. We were sad as well because she lived with us for nine months. I think much of his current behavior stems from that broken relationship.

His last relationship ended just this past weekend after nine months. His girlfriend was 14 years older than him and had three children. I cautioned him many times that she was serious about him and he was in danger of hurting her feelings. She got wind of his behavior at parties and broke up with him. I think she thought he would beg her not to break up.

He didn’t!

As usual, I was right about that relationship. His 22-year-old self began to chafe because she would cancel dates if her children needed her. She worked, ran a household, and had three kids ages 3 to 14. They took up most of her time.

If she didn’t put her children first, I would have thought less of her.

After their breakup, my son immediately started seeing someone new the very same day. This one was only 11 years older than him, and she, too, has three children.

Sigh! He will never learn.

But the worst thing is, his old girlfriend showed up on our doorstep three different times looking for him. My husband told her he wasn’t home. That was the truth. The second time she came, she wanted to see me.

When I stepped out on the porch wearing only my shorty pj’s, she threw herself in my arms and cried snotty tears all over my shirt. When the crying slowed down, I told her the truth.

A 22-year-old man is interested in having fun and partying. Most of them are not interested in being a step-father. They tend to be selfish and self-centered. They are not mature enough for the kind of life she is leading.

“He is not the man for you,” I said. “You deserve someone mature who will be a helpmeet for you.”

The next day she came again. His big brother was visiting, and he looked out the window to see who was knocking.

“It is his ex-girlfriend,” my oldest exclaimed. “What are we going to do?”

“Let her in,” I ordered. “Then go get your brother and drag his butt out here. He deserves to hear what she has to say.”

My oldest and I left the room and left him to her. I’m pretty sure the loud voices meant she was ripping the skin off his back.

Good for her. Good for her.

I sent him a message about how angry I was with him for being so unkind to his now ex. He should have manned up and told her he wanted to break up. It’s the same advice I’ve been giving him for months.

As for his girlfriend, I hope she moves on and picks someone older next time. A man doesn’t have to be young and handsome to be a good mate.

Sadly, it’s not the first time I’ve been confronted by the women my sons date. His big brother broke up with his girlfriend the very same day. I spent the night with her trying to calm her down.

Once when I had a DVT scan at the hospital, the lady wheeling me down the hall asked me if I knew a certain young lady.

“Oh, gosh,” I said. “Was that her mother doing the scan?”

Of course it was. Just my luck to run into the mother of a young lady my son had broken up with.

I know this is not over. I just need to stay calm and wait for the next time.

Love

Ruby Lee