New Year’s Resolutions Are Often Helpful but They Complicate My Life

I no longer make them

Photo by Dil on Unsplash

Ritual of a closing Year

My paternal grandmother lived on a sugar cane plantation completely surrounded by huge irrigation canals that led to a natural waterway to the ocean, a couple of miles away.

People had separate homes but their lives were intertwined. They went to the same shop and worked the same fields and their children attended the same school. In such close proximity frequently, differences of opinion arose and friends fell out. Imagine the work involved in avoiding estranged folks in a small community! Yet, instead of New Year’s Resolutions, they had a ritual.

People involved will walk around the neighborhood knocking on the doors of folks they wronged. They admitted responsibility for the estrangement. They apologized for the misunderstanding or hurt caused and promised to do better. Their remarks are prefaced with: “Let’s start the New Year right”.

There is nothing magical about a new year. It’s how we mark time. It does not imbue us with the strength to resist temptation or discipline to start new patterns. Yet, we cannot deny, like a fork in a road, it offers us a choice. My grandmother’s neighbors chose the path of reconciliation.

Ben Franklin, a founding father wrote in his Calendar for public circulation: Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every New Year find you a better man.

Of course, other situations can produce choices, but the end of the year is a good place to start. New Year’s Resolutions Statistics cited in Discover Happy Habits found that only 4 % of people succeed without resolutions in contrast to 46% of people with similar goals who made them.

But I like the ritual of my grandmother and her friends. Spurred on by the coming year, they made the changes to become better people before they sang Auld Lang Syne.

New Year’s Resolutions — I avoid them

I no longer make resolutions. Old diaries and journals are records of my guilt and disappointment. Recurring failures undermine my self-worth, but I still need to take stock of my life to ensure I’m on track to achieve my goals or purpose. Therefore, I’m very mindful of the opportunities presented through life events.

Changes through life events

• Sometimes, misfortunes force us to adapt to new ways. We suffer the loss of a partner in a variety of relationships or we lose money or other resources that we rely on to thrive. Crisis creates change. Resilience helps us assess how we move forward.
• Good fortune also forces change. Often, we are surprised by it and unprepared for the new demands it makes on us. Faced with the need to adapt, we brace ourselves and do it. Our new circumstances motivate us.

Resilience helps me remain optimistic as I move forward.

For those successful in keeping New Year’s resolutions, I envy you. However, I’ve learned to do what works so no more resolutions for me. I keep a lookout for the growing points of my life and muster my resolve. Then at the end of the year, I hope that I’m a better person.

Enjoy the New Year, whatever you do.

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