Homosexuality

When You’re Gay and Have a Wife

But don’t want to come out of the closet

Border between Thailand and Laos along the Mekong River | Photo by author

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“My grandfather faked his death by leaving his clothes by the shore on a beach in England. Everyone assumed he drowned.” Michael told me.

“WTF,” I replied.

Michael laid out the story in the co-living place we shared in Bangkok.

The grandfather, Charles, was married with kids, including Michael’s mother, in the 70’s. Of course, Michael wasn’t born yet.

Charles was gay and didn’t want to reveal his real sexual orientation. So, he did what any reasonable person at that time would do. Fake their death and flee to Thailand. Unfortunately, it caused hardship for Michael’s grandmother and her children.

Charles was only caught twenty years later, when someone recognized him in public back in England. He got into a lot of trouble and, sadly, has since passed. Michael and his brother, Jason, recently visited the place where their grandfather lived in southern Thailand.

“My great-uncle was also gay and passed away from AIDS in Phuket.”

My owl eyes lit up.

Yes, this is a true story from a conversation I had with a young traveler in Bangkok. I used pseudonyms instead of real names.