Is consideration really the highest form of love?

Photo by Buddy AN on Unsplash

For the past few weeks, I have reduced my social media usage, especially X (formerly Twitter).

For two main reasons.

1. I think it (social media) is responsible for the strong urge that I felt to create a “Why I might not be getting married soon” article draft. This is because I immediately create a draft article as soon as I have a writing inspiration and direction. The faintest pen is more powerful than the sharpest sword, they say.
2. I am trying to avoid conversations around gender and marital discussions.

Why I might not be getting married soon

Last month, a tweet was making the rounds on the internet. I searched for the exact tweet but couldn't find it. I got something similar instead.

A snapshot of the one I saw

I scroll past the tweet anytime I come across it and try not to interact with it at all when people on my CL post it on WhatsApp.

Not until yesterday, when I had a conversation with a friend and started reflecting, did the tweet come to mind.

Ideally, I would have posted a voice status on WhatsApp or a long series of text statuses, but I decided to write while taking a bath last Thursday (28/5/2026) in preparation for work so that I could always come back to read it.

For someone who’s not a fan of a lot of things, yet is open-minded, examples are the following:

1. I didn’t attend or invite anyone to my college of technology matriculation and graduation ceremonies.
2. I didn’t attend or invite anyone to my university matriculation or graduation ceremonies.
3. I don’t have any pictures of myself during my NYSC, etc.

And some people celebrate these things enormously.

I have come to the understanding that it is up to people to choose and decide what their big wins are and how they deem fit to celebrate them.

Back to business; sorry for the little digression.

What inspired this writing

I have a female Muslim friend whom I saw do a lot of things in preparation for the 2026 Big Sallah celebration, and I saw the work, time, and effort that she put in it.

From making her hair to applying henna on her hands to running errands and so on. At some point, I was concerned. I should be because she’s my friend, innit?

What I did

I supported her in every way that I could. Always asking how she’s doing. How she’s feeling. Asking and knowing where she is going, the things left for her to do, etc.

I immersed myself in the journey with her.

As someone who does a lot of introspection and retrospection, I realised that it is who I am.

I once took the day off to celebrate with a friend at her graduation ceremony.

I have worked overnight and early in the morning to attend a friend’s boot camp graduation.

I always try to do the best that I can for my friends if they choose to involve me. Maybe that’s why I don’t have more than 6 people that I call friends.

As I continue in my self-reflection state, I then remember that tweet. “The highest form of love is consideration."

The highest form of love is consideration

You don’t need to like what they are doing to get involved and celebrate with them.

You don’t need to like or enjoy what your spouse enjoys before joining them in doing it.

In relationships (friendship, romantic, family, employee-employer, business, etc.), we serve each other. We serve one another.

Indeed, the standard has been set. My friends have set that standard for me. Not sure I will be settling for less. That’s just by the way.

Indeed, the highest form of love is consideration.

SSAS.

Glossary.

1. NYSC: National Youth Service Corps. A one-year mandatory program for graduates in Nigeria.
2. CL: Contact list.
3. SSAS: Stay safe and sane.