The Daily Cuppa Grande

They Called Me ‘The Lizard Lady’

A name I earned while on vacation with my scaredy-cat husband

Photo by Mason Jones on Unsplash

During my years of raising two boys, 14 years apart in age, we owned various pets, including cats, dogs, snakes, gerbils, white mice, and iguanas named Tommy and Lisa, who enjoyed sitting on our shoulders, returned to their cage when they got loose, and rarely tried to bite us.

Most people who came to visit were fine with our menagerie, except for one, George, my future husband.

When we first met, we spent many evenings going out for dinner or eating my home cooking. Being 23 years older than I, smart, and having raised three sons of his own, my son and I were comfortable with him.

One night, after we had been dating for a few months, I answered the door with Lisa on my shoulder. To my surprise, George’s expression changed to one of horror. He made a strange noise, ran to his car, and took off with no explanation.

“What the heck just happened?” I said out loud. My son and I were baffled by his strange behavior, which was so out of character for him.

A while later, I called his house. “Why did you leave like that?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“That thing on your neck. That lizard! I hate them! I’ll never come to your house again if that monster is loose.”

“What? You didn’t even get to meet her. She’s harmless!”

“I’ve seen too many of those nasty things when I was a merchant marine. They’re disgusting.”

At least now I understood why he had an aversion to her, a little tidbit he probably should have remembered to tell me, knowing we had unusual pets in my son’s bedroom.

But that wasn’t the end of it. After we were married, we took a trip to the Bahamas, as they had an amazing casino, and gambling was one of his passions.

The first morning after our arrival, he opened the door of our motel room, and my normally emotionally stable husband started screaming like a little girl.

“What happened?” I asked, thinking he saw a tiger or something outside.

“Get those things out of here!”

“What things?” I said, running to the door.

“The lizards! There are lizards all over the place.”

There were. There were iguanas in the bushes and hanging off the eaves—dozens of them, one to two feet long. I had to laugh at the folly of it. Who would have guessed the place we chose to take our vacation would be overflowing with the one animal he has a phobia of?

Heaven forbid one of the little monsters dared cross his path. Luckily for him, I had no problem chasing them every morning, towel in hand.

However, securing the perimeter for him did not go unnoticed by other guests, who, I later learned, were referring to me as ‘The Lizard Lady.’

Hmm, I wonder what they were calling him!?