we all facing the world for once and for the first time, so why are we so hard on ourselves?

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when the night time comes i find myself lingering with the memories of where i failed to speak the right words, where my sentences came out weirdly, where i found myself soaked with rage as i stared madly at the people in front of me — all because i never the get idea of how to say things out in the rightest way.

the night turns into day, the world has started to waken and freshen up, im still covered with the blanket and wrapped with the injustice feelings of my actions. no matter how much i think about it, there’s no exact cure to these awful thoughts.

but, shall i remind myself, this is the first time i taken a breath of this parts of my life, this is the first time of me trying to face whatever unusual to me, so it is for me to not know whats the best choice for everything.

the world has not even the slightest right on me to hold me accountable for not knowing whats better in any matter in my life.

i could never breathe the same air as the one i did in the past, the exact same thing goes for what had already happened. it stays there, but that doesn’t mean i dont deserve to take in fresh air and move forward. i could always take new steps, choose a different path, live a new life — whatever it is, i am and will always entitled to convey my feelings without being burden by the thoughts that i will stumble on. even i do, i would only have to shifts away the awkwardness and live the life i wanted.

after all, we are here for the first time and for once, its only right for us to not know whats good at first. if we figured everything at the beginning, we would be lost by the end of the chapter.