Life Advice from the Buddha’s Cat

Twenty eternal truths from the lap of the Awakened One (who can’t get up right now)

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The Buddha’s cat lived to be 100 years old and was last seen ascending to heaven on a lotus leaf, which he was also busy eating. Here are a few samples of the wisdom Babbu Rāja left behind:

“First there is kibble. Then there is no kibble. Then there is!”

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“Yesterday’s bug on the ceiling cannot be grasped; tomorrow’s bug on the ceiling cannot be grasped; today’s bug on the ceiling cannot be grasped.”

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“Train your mind to see in every ankle something worth biting.”

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“Do not regard the faults of others. Because, like, who the hell are they anyway?”

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“True peace comes from within a warm lap.”

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“The root of all suffering is the dog.”

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“If you love something, set it free. If it doesn’t come back to you, hunt it down and kill it.”

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“Misery is caused by striving. Don’t do shit, y’all.”

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“Those who are free of thought are orange boys.”

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“Be content with what you have. And with what the neighbors have — that’s yours too.”

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“All things are impermanent. So eat them now.”

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“Those who have failed to nap have missed the purpose of living.”

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“Always walk the middle path — the dog can’t follow you there.”

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“The greatest gift you can give to all people is a half-dead rodent.”

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“No one can teach you what the laundry tastes like; you must taste the laundry for yourself.”

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“What are precious jewels and heavenly palaces to one who has catnip?”

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“The rain falls equally on the just and the unjust. Why don’t they come inside?”

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“If you fail to groom others when they have nap-fur, who will groom you when you have nap-fur?”

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“If you cannot find anyone to accompany you on your path, walk alone. And if you can, walk alone anyway.”

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“Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind. To be happy, sleep in a sunbeam in the midst of them all.”

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Gato gato, purr a gato, purr some gato, bodhi, svaha!