Thoughts of someone who can’t think of anything

Everything starts with people’s expectations, which leads to dreams. People imagine things and make scenarios, one leading to another, all starting with reaching some expectation. Someone wants a good life, but what’s the definition of good life? Children who have always been the toppers view first rank as a good life, it is what expected of them, they are forced to put all their strength, pull through everything, so that they would meet their so-called expectation.

But what after that? Score well in entrance exam and get into the best college in the country — see, new expectation came. So, they are expected to pull this through and get there. If not, they are looked down, not because they failed, but it seems that while all others put so much effort in this person and this individual is the sole reason for failure. Okay cool, but if that person succeeds, are the expectations over and reached a good life? No, get a good internship, score good grades, do projects, publish papers, get a well-salaried job and the list never ends. You see, they indirectly expect a return on investment on the person. Great, doing a job, then enough? No, cope up with everyone’s expectations, go to higher studies, get married and this list of expectations never ends.

Okay fine, too much of expectations, you know what, there is no happy ending in life as they show in stories or web series. You gotta meet expectations until you die, maybe even after that, who knows. And interesting fact is that everyone thought about running away from these expectations and living a simple life, but wait a minute, what is this simple life, weren’t we talking about a good life? Yeah, okay, the good life.

See a person who did exceptionally well from childhood, a typical example for perfect kid — first ranker since elementary school, state topper, one who studied in the best college of the country, went a bit off track to learn about various industries, a perfect employee with no slack, beautiful in many eyes, too good to reach out, quick learner and seemed intelligent in every aspect, going to best university, building own venture, best in the whole bloodline as they say — this is all what people see. But inside, lonely, felt isolated, silent to protect own childish self, all gloomy (but with a smile, that’s the cherry on top of the cake) wants just peace — want to runaway to a mountain and open a small cafe for living, wants a person who can understand and who’ll never betray or lie, who treats right.

But see the counterfactual, the person with such simple life and a caring person of their own, feels that if studied well or had opportunities, they could’ve reached there — it could’ve been me, not dying everyday with the repetitive tasks in this cafe in some remote area. See, this is the truth — grass is greener on the other side and you never know what a person is going through. Leave this, sometimes, not even that person knows what they’re going through.

Ever experienced zoning out staring at something all for a straight two hours? Imagine someone sitting in their balcony and thinking about these expectations, being content in real life and all, and fed up with everything. Seeing in the front, the view is beautiful, the moon — which is always admirable, the highway, ten-storey buildings, luxury hotels, but none seem appealing. Cannot runaway from the current, so-called responsibilities stop doing that. And it’s true, you are answerable at many places. How much effort you put in getting through all of this just to get free, that much you are sinking deeper into this mud. People see this person and say, wow what a life, I wish I had that, blah blah. Dude! No one’s life is better or worse than others, none, I said what I said. Every strength has it’s weakness, every pro has it’s con — it’s a co-existential duality, you know? When you get more, you lose more. High returns, high risk — both at same pace or even worse.