Big Bad Benny

Paean to the stereotypical IDF sergeant major.

All day long he terrorizes Unit 402

He rules it with an iron fist and with a hobnailed shoe Better keep your distance when he throws around his weight Watch out for Big Bad Benny, the guy we love to hate He wears this black beret that’s always glued to his head If he doesn’t like the way you look, you’re better off dead If your hair is too long for him expect “28” Watch out for Big Bad Benny, the guy we love to hate Big black bushy mustache creeps across his face He snarls at every passer-by ’cause he knows he owns the place Try to talk back to him? Weekend on the base! Just look at him wrong and he’s gonna cook your goose!

Keeping tabs on everybody one by one

If you’re caught without your hat on, bye bye boy, you’re done He’s about as educated as the guy who pumps your gas But your life depends on him ’cause without him there’s no pass! If he ain’t in his office, then watch your step dude ’Cause he’s probably in the kitchen tasting all the food With his brother Asher they’ll look to get you screwed B&A Incorporated, sergeants on the loose!

Calling up his wife he growls into the phone

Tells her that he doesn’t want her going out alone ’Cause he knows that if she looks for him away from home She’ll catch him with his pants down and he won’t have no excuse!

They call him Benny (Benny Benny Benny)

They call him Big Bad Benny All he does around here is throw around his weight They call him Benny (Benny Benny Benny) They call him Big Bad Benny Big Bad Boorish Benny, the guy we love to hate

Not the guy you want to have staring you down.

The eponymous “Benny” here is not a Bayonne/Elizabeth/Newark/New York denizen who patronizes and terrorizes the Jersey Shore each summer, but rather the sergeant major who terrorized my artillery unit when I served in the Israeli army when I’d rather have been on the Jersey Shore. He was the classic “Rasar,” complete with impeccable uniform, permanently fixed headgear, and handlebar mustache, who stood on ceremony and never let the common soldiery get away with anything. He was a hardass badass, to be sure, but it was all an act … catch him off base and off duty and he was a pussycat.

Written in the summer of 1986 or thereabouts, to the tune of J. Geils’ “Flamethrower.” Never recorded or performed, but jammed on a couple of times in the barracks.

— Lyrics and commentary © The Hesh Inc. Originally published between 2016–2025.