gettyimages.com

Soulful Pleasure

From childhood until now I’ve had this demon that plagued my soul everyday I had a feeling of unsafetey that would rest in my unconscious Tease me in my subconscious And hold my nervous system hostage each and everyday Never finding any time to rest My body too shot up from the trauma and abuse with a freeze response here n there I’ve never truly felt comfortable within myself within my soul and expressing it It’s taken a lot of soul searching to find the missing motherfucker Investigations for long hours into the woods, hoping I’d find traces of him Traces of it’s essence Some sort of sign that it’s been there before

So far I have one of the three held in confinement but without it’s brothers I’m afraid it’s gonna cause a wreck I’m afraid that something good will actually happen Fearful of my own success, I throw myself behind the veil and to the side away from the main populous who can’t look any deeper then a kiddie pool Is there anyone to truly connect with? Safe attachments? True love, true connections? They’re about just as rare as finding a grand on the ground It’s just about as rare as society actually healing itself, the .0000001% possibility that we wall love each other, or for the fact that New Earth might be a fantasy for us to escape from our own humanistic undoings I’m just about as rare

Just about as lonely as a boat floating away in the Pacific night Not much around But there’s life below the surface Millions of unidentified life forms forming around me The soothing, nurturing nature of the ocean relaxes my uneasy soul The gentle touch of the moonlight reminds me I have a true mother in heaven The Great Mother, Mother Earth, Divine Feminine gifts me what I lack and reminds me of a hidden source of power I don’t have anymore time for these lames Only an elect few can truly know the depths of my soul I don’t even know how deep I go, none of us know how deep our 12th house goes