The Accumulation of Intents

I am driving back to Santa Fe after moving to Colorado a few months before. I am going to pick up the rest of my belongings that are in storage, going to pick up my other car. My trustee dog Yogi sits in the front, then the back of my rental as he sees fit. I am glad to have him with me.

It is an emotional experience — my time there was intense and full of great highs and horrible lows. I had been more connected to others than ever, and also more isolated. It had been more than I had imagined, and also much harder emotionally than I had ever thought. And yet — I had come out on the other side.

I was feeling a bit of a sense of disappointment in myself, feeling that I had not hit my dream goals, my own internal guide posts that were going to say I was doing a good job or was making progress. I was trying to heal myself, heal my life, and grow. On some level I wasn’t seeing the results, but as I drove into Santa Fe, quickly grabbed my belongings and switched out cars, there was the energetic sensation of the cumulative efforts and intents. Cumulative aligned actions, and cumulative growth. I had been in Santa Fe for fourteen years, for many of them living closely with my chosen tribe, meditating and doing processes and taking actions to heal me, to get me more into a space that felt to be truly me. It felt like an energetic wave that came and filled me up, no matter how light or dark things looked at one time or another.

Such is life, and such will be our experience at the end of our lives. In the end we take nothing with us but ourselves, our energy, and what we have done to refine, to grow, and frankly sometimes just to get by. These things can seem to have little or no effect at the time, but they all add upon themselves, and any intentful action or state of being matters, and we will take all the gifts of those intentions with us when we go. Even when our actions or intents seem small, they matter.

In the end, what do you want to take with you? What memories will matter most, what experiences? What small or large action can you take to help build that? What is that doing for Self?

Image by Alan Matsuoka from Pixabay