Is There a War Against Women?

Why Can’t the Fairer Sex Wear Pants

Photo by Lucas Hoang on Unsplash

In search of something to wear to my sister’s 1st of April wedding. Yes, she’s getting married on April Fool’s Day. I have developed one question to ask women everywhere. Why Can’t Women Wear Pant Suits? To a wedding or for any occasion? If you ask yourself, why don’t you just wear a dress? I found plenty of those in an assortment of colors and sizes. Well, it’s April in the north and it will be in the 30s. So, I want to wear frickin’ pants. Besides, why should it matter that I WANT to wear pants? Insert misogyny.

Why Is It So Hard to Find Pants?

I first shopped at my go-to store. I won’t name names, but I was sorely disappointed. They had pants, they had suit jackets. But nothing really matched except the black, of course. I will explain the black later [Hint: it’s a wedding]. Yes, sorry I want a “matching” suit. I then traveled to the second store on my list. Again, I saw a lot of dresses. I tracked down a store employee.

“Where are the women’s pantsuits?” “Around the corner”. “Whew”.

I rounded the corner and that’s where I faced disappointment at the small wall of matching suits. My short-lived excitement toward the employee deflated. There were only two options hoisted on that wall: white and pink. I stared at that wall and then thought. Well, I can’t wear white to her wedding. Even though she’s not wearing white. I think that’s a major faux pas. Can’t wear pink either. Besides looking crappy in pink. Images of Ralphie [Christmas Story] and his pink nightmare. Head to toe in pink. That’s what it reminded me of. I looked around the racks thinking maybe I’ll find something hidden in the racks. After twenty minutes. I couldn’t get out of that store fast enough. I walked out the door, got in my car, and sighed.

All I Want is a Matching Pantsuit

Why can’t there be a women’s wear house [like Men’s Wearhouse]? You walk in get measured and fitted for a women’s pantsuit. Try on some different colors. Walk out with a suit with some accessories. A matching blouse, belt, matching shoes. Am I being too critical of clothing stores?

Why can’t I wear pants to a wedding? Can’t find a matching suit [pants and jacket]. I have a confession I did find some more black pantsuits. But I promised my sister I wouldn’t wear black to her wedding. I wear black for everything, but not to her wedding.

Most might say, hey why don’t you do some internet shopping? There are plenty of finds there. Well, I have another question.

Why can’t you get what’s online in the store? How many have you been screwed by clothes you ordered online? They looked nothing like the picture you saw on the computer screen. I saw a great red pantsuit online at my go-to retailer, but as a cruel joke, it was nowhere in the store.

Is this a political conspiracy?

I will keep searching. No white, no pink, black, and no purple. That’s what the bride’s wearing. A way bigger faux pas. The clock’s ticking.