Time Out singles reviews #3

Martin Horsfield ponders whether any of this week’s waxings would make a decent terrace chant

Prince - Fury Lightweight synth-funk, vaguely redeemed by some mad Isleys guitar. “There ain’t no fury like a woman scorned,” opines the purple one. He ought to imagine a football crowd trying to make a song out of this three-chord guff. They’d invade the Paisley Park pitch and demand a proper chorus for starters.

John Parr vs Tommyknockers - New Horizon This is more like it: the craggy David Dickinson-alike’s ‘St Elmo’s Fire’ theme given a long-overdue pomp-house workover, repeating the “higher and higher” bit into infinity. The Dutch and German lads could work with this; a bit camp for our boys, though.

Gomez - Girlshapedlovedrug All together now, London: “Are you Travis in disguise?”

Duncan James - Sooner Or Later Singles by former boyband members should come with a free dog-on-string. Here Duncan from Blue gives good gravitas by pitching some acoustic guitar over a synth chugger of ’80s-style high earnestness. But what’s his game? Nik Kershaw never troubled the terraces; try referencing Glitter’s stomping tunes next time, Dunc.

Keane - Is It Any Wonder Speaking of the ’80s, Keane are Ultravox aren’t they? With the rough edges machine-tooled off and none of the comedy ponytails and sideburns … yet. But - uh oh! – some bounder has spilled Pimm’s on Tim Nice-Oxbridge’s keyboard, giving it a wonky wah-wah sound. The bombastic U2-sized chorus is good, too. Terrace wags will be working it up into “Is it any wonder you’re shite?” as we write.

Hope Of The States - Sing It Out This is described as “stomping and rousing” by their people, and if Joy Division can inspire a terrace anthem (“Giggs will tear you apart”), there’s always hope. Alas, this would struggle to geta sing-song going at the most staunchly indie student union.

Joan As Police Woman - The Ride Okay, there comes a time when we have to lay down the crowbar, stop levering in those footie gags and simply gawp at the coiled, heartbreaking loveliness of a tune such as this, wherein JAPW – one of Antony’s Johnsons – makes like Karen Carpenter as styled by Steve Albini and implores a loved one to “follow her and jump the ride’” Said ride never stops at all, by the way, which means that once this has been seared into your consciousness by night-time Radio 2, it can be adapted to, “You’ll never win fuck all” and crooned sympathetically to your West Brom-supporting chums. Result!

First published in Time Out, March 2006

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Footnote I’m not sure if the terrace chant theme was Time Out’s idea or mine, but in retrospect it’s not a particularly helpful prism through which to review singles.