Relieve Everything into Blessed when Less Have Privilege

I am still in the process of self-recovery from pursuing blessed, I think

Photo by Clark Gu on Unsplash

As we live in this enormous economic growth, in my country, Indonesia, everyone of every person from Gen X to Gen Alpha has great and modern privileges. They lived with enough facilities marked with the full range of primary to tertiary necessities.

Discuss economic growth and that of consumerization, which is related to spending money from tangible into intangible products and services, and with my position as a self-employed status a close look at the underemployed, I don’t have enough privilege with the rapid money consumerization.

Then, when I have sought many of my necessities that are required for my lifestyle, I don’t have enough privilege for them. As I grew without my parents' monthly allowance, I lived as modestly as I could survive. But this time, I think it's enough to accept these conditions, so why still in this process of making many efforts to survive independently?

That's a little picture of why I don’t have many privileges in my life. Somehow, I think I missed the most emotional profile into the meaning of less privileges itself, like why until now I don’t want to natter to my close relations, from my parents or my sister, throughout my suffocation.

Because I lack emotion due to being less privileged, it must be because I was relieved of my condition. However, there are side stories from my process that help alleviate my modesty situation, besides my human nature, thinking about how I lived as a rich person and the negative impact that came with it.

Maybe I am kidding when to say that I lived like a rich person in my entire life; however, it was not right to say that. Besides my parents not giving me monthly allowances, our family life in the median level of full necessities compliance.

Then, many of you might to precautions and value the unfairness about why there is a gap between the household's rights into those of each family member. Behind me is the one who is clueless about how a life should be directed to wherever the future looks.

So, yes. Whenever I am got to blinded by my life, thus the great scenario comes alike no monthly allowances to myself. But, unlike that kind of, I have to mingle with everybody pretending about my condition; I feel like that enough to shape me as the homey-ladies who do not care for others have to think about me or that future.

However, that process of relieving the less privileged made me less heedful about any people outside who might have the weakness to do the daily efforts to achieve life’s requirements. That surprising situation has also happened to everybody whom I have acquired as my friend or my family member, and they have never asked me for any help that belongs to them. Those facts make me rely on my deliverables not to follow them for intervention anymore.

I am not labeling me as woman with high life expectation, of course I have to seek many women outside due by their high expectation and I think my scale is not bigger than them. I don’t even know how many women outside who has a rapid lifestyle and growing pacement do my reality as a modesty. In Jakarta, the one of most bigger growth of lifestyle, there no one people at my age who still being a house girl, they all grew as the modern living person, as well I know one of the factor is by support around them. Beside of that, I have lack of that part.

Sometimes, I have to think why I don’t be a rebelleous to catching many dream, I think that I am a looser one who not competence due by the higher rapid lifestyle era. The one reasons why I don’t hardy chasing my dreams maybe is purpose on how I want to keep my balancing life, not by become a independent and wealth one, but how I keep my universe has to talk to me for my fates.

I have principle that to deveated all of them, it is a same as the criminal, becuase when you want to achieve everything outside the portion or outside the border, it means that you achieve it by do it in eveything in cruel ways. Then, I know that I was a looser to be still in the comfort zone, by not to exaggerated the border to achieve the modern lifestyle. I think this way has enough of grace for me to keep in our lines.

However, I also have to accused many of them who are still in going for their future dreams, insist of they all not to company me to being one of them. I don’t know how this one feeling is rather about the prejudiced, but I have to said I was stupid to not labelled them as the most legitimate on their egoism as one who want everything to make them most happier person corrects as a greedy one.

So, I think that they higher expectation is the one who make them alive to achieve their dreams. However, it seems match in me, but in the another side things. I have a higher expectation on how to be a women with perfectionsm, I mean in a good way.

I want to people want to treats me as a worth person, to be make ends meet my whole life. But however it becomes uncontrolled because of I do not know how their borders. Yet, I know my parents have enough money, however I kept guessing of my egoism is really corrects or not. That my other mind have to think that “it is okay to have enough privileged to be a homey girls” and the other side said “are they crazy to never confirmed me what they have to assert me to do something as a general life? like to be life independent with my own efforts?”. But the answers is still nothing.

So, I still have my expectations on how I have my visionary life, to be a succesfull and happy without rolling in wealth. In case of that, I lives in my own world, I pretty sure that within the shape of fates that make me in this time, I was build myself with many of dream that might be less to become a truth.

I am felt diappointed on how many people life deserve than me beside of they not allow me to have same as they lives. But, I felt so guilty to know that they might be shaped into the greedy ones. It might be greedy has to build up by the common sense or it might be build up on how they want to achieve the meaning of success by took in another cause.

So, I have to learn in not to be fools by world. Learn on how someone conditions not drive me to become more cruel and be what I lived as a worthy person.

The processes of relieve a blessed from less privilege in me makes many of self developing grow, the reality of my fates is not gorgeous as what I want a modern and precedented era, but however it turns me to be accepting all of what I have as it is.

I have to thank of you who is the factor of my processess to be relieve what I have although you might not dislike me and my position in this life. I am just want to give you a advice for all of you.

If you were wanting more than what you have, you must be know that it might be undeliver to grab that and start to learn on how you go with what you have. Sometimes, it might be a miracle for you to be survives or life with more than you imagine.