Story So Far…

Chapter 1

Unlucky. That sums up my love life. You send a request to the girl you like; she doesn’t accept. You cancel it after a week, thinking, "Ok, now I at least know for sure that she is not interested". You send her a request again after a week. This time, with your real picture on DP, thinking maybe she was being cautious not to accept request from a random person. She accepts but doesn’t follow you back. You think, "Ok, now for sure you can say that she’s not interested". You see her in college, and you panic, and you leave. 5 mins later, you get a notification that that person has sent you a request. Still hopeful. But how can you be hopeful when you see a guy wrapping his hand around her waist at a concert and touching her butt, and she not resisting. You can’t be hopeful after that. You know it's time to close the book, even thought he chapter is not finished yet.

That was my first heartbreak in college, and boy, it hurts bad. Really, really bad. I saw her for the first time at fresher’s party. I was totally drunk (drank for the 2nd time in my life), everything blurry, everything moving, and then there she was. She came with her friend (she shouldn’t have). I shook hands with her friend and introduced myself, then shook hands with her. I don’t remember a single thing from that party, apart from her name and the fact that I shook hands with her.

Every single day after that day, I looked for excuses to see her, to talk to her, but whenever she came in front of me, I always panicked. Always. The longest conversation after the fresher’s party I had with her was “Hi”. I was waiting for the right time to confess to her (waiting for my beard to grow back). Right time, urgh. Maybe I took too long, and maybe (or surely) now she’ll never know what I feel for her.

Not a good start for a new journey. But you can’t change what others feel. I still like her, and I still hope the best for her. I still want her to have fun, enjoy, laugh, and she does… with the other guy, and I am happy for her, but deep down I so badly hope that it was me who makes her laugh, who makes her smile, who takes care of her, who holds her bag when her shoulder hurts. I hope…