Redefining Success

I have yet to meet a single person who genuinely enjoys failing. Everyone I’ve encountered is driven, in one way or another, by the desire to succeed. It is a natural pursuit; success brings positive outcomes like financial rewards, prestige, and stronger relationships. But what if I told you that the most effective path to success is actually paved with failure?

This sounds contradictory. I don’t mean that failing, in and of itself, automatically grants you what you want. Rather, the reality is that it takes multiple iterations to find the “correct” path. If we look deeply into the history of revolutionary inventions — the airplane, the car, or the light bulb — the common thread is that they required thousands of failed attempts before reaching that first major breakthrough.

If this is common knowledge, why isn’t everyone doing it? Why aren’t we seeing constant revolutions in every field?

The answer is simple: human nature. We are biologically programmed to avoid discomfort, which often leads us to quit too soon. The people who change the world are those passionate or obsessive enough to ignore the pain and carry on when everything seems pointless. While many dreamed of motorized vehicles or human flight, only those who viewed failure as a requirement rather than a stop sign reached the finish line.

In an episode of the Modern Wisdom podcast, former NASA engineer and YouTube creator Mark Rober discussed how the “power of framing” helped him improve in chess. Mark admitted he hates losing, but he realized that while you can study endless theory, true progress comes from practice. To practice, you must play — and to play, you must eventually lose.

To face that discomfort, he developed a personal strategy: The “Lose 10 Times” Challenge. He committed to playing his best in every game until he had lost ten times.

There is a lot to distill from this seemingly simple approach:

• Goal Setting Without Judgment: By focusing on a “quota” of losses, the individual outcome of a single game no longer defines your worth or your progress.
• Intentional Repetition: This isn’t about losing on purpose; you must still try your hardest. The “magic” is hidden in the volume of attempts.
• Reframing the Fail: Each failure becomes a “success” in the context of the challenge — it is one step closer to your quota and, ultimately, your goal.

This mindset allows you to reassess your position and refine your goals without the emotional weight of “defeat.” If we can approach our pursuits this way, we become capable of staying in the race long after everyone else has quit.

References

• Rober, M. (2018). The Super Mario Effect: Tricking Your Brain into Learning More. TEDxPenn. (The core philosophy behind Rober’s approach to failure).
• Williamson, C. (Host). (2023). Mark Rober — The Science of Success & Creative Engineering [Audio podcast episode]. In Modern Wisdom.
• Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House. (On the “Growth Mindset” vs. “Fixed Mindset”).
• Edison, T. (Historical Reference). Often cited for the quote: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” regarding the development of the incandescent light bulb.
• Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits. Avery. (On the importance of repetitions over perfection).